Caught in the Busy Trap: Is it Making Us Less Productive?

I took my daughter to see The Lion King last week.  I decided no phone.  We were going to enjoy the show together.  We perched in our balcony seats to see people busy themselves with taking pictures and posting to their social network.  There were four women sitting on the railing of their box squeezing together to get the perfect "Here we are!" picture.  My daughter wondered outloud why they were doing it. And if they fell would that mean the Fire Dept. would stop the show?  We had a great time for 2 1/2 hours enjoying the music, costumes, and performers.  Did I get phone calls?  Yes.  Did I get e-mails?  Yes.  Did I have the best time creating a lasting memory offline? Absolutely!  (And I'm pretty sure no one missed me.)

We need European work lives. 4-6 weeks of vacation. Siestas. Etc.

I am never surprised when the Pew Research studies show people in Europe so much happier than we are in the US and much more content.

That NY Times Op Ed was awesome. I read it multiple times when it came out. I need to print it out and stick it next to my computer screen! The problem is we're addicted to this crazy busy mess. And, we let it control us. It's all wrong. And, I'm incredibly guilty.

I had your revelation a few years back when I worked at a non-profit. When you're in fundraising, the job is never done and there are never enough hands to do the work. So, I often worked weekends in addition to working during the week. Much like you, I realized that I was always so fizzled out by Friday, those days were an utter waste. I quickly learned that if I quit working on the weekend, I would have the energy to be more efficient and get the work done during the actual work week.

Truth is, this is a great reminder. I need to hit the reset button and do what I did back then. After moonlighting for two years and always working nights/weekends on top of my day job, it's hard to untrain myself of this! I think somehow we're tricked into thinking we HAVE to work all the time. Like the article said, we wear our business and the hours we put in with a badge of honor. It needs to stop!

So glad you've found your happy place! :)

Funny that you posted this. I got in a conversation on Twitter earlier this week about that New York Times article (someone I connected with alerted me to it when they noticed my profile included "searching for work-life balance." I read the article and felt immediately guilty.

I have my own marketing company and ostensibly work for myself so that I have the flexibility to enjoy life. The  problem is I often find myself forgoing "life" in favor of work. The worst part is that my kids are still young and I also let work get in the way of my being more involved in their lives. The article was a great wake up call that reminded me not to let the opportunities I'm faced with day in and day out pass me by. It's easy to say to yourself that you'll work hard now  so that you can enjoy the fruits of your labor "later," but for some people, later never comes.

I was reminded of this recently when a good friend of mine (and the mother of three young kids) was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. She has chosen to spend her remaining time with her kids and crossing things off her bucket list, and her experience made me realize that we should all live like we only have six months left. It would really put our priorities in perspective.

Thanks for posting!

This is FABULOUS. You decided to focus on what's really important. I'm both proud of, and happy for you. I'm going to quote your post in my classes on time management. And if you reply with something snarky, I'm going to have Kelly do some "withholding"!

Love this! I recently took the first 'real' vacation in 11 years (that is, not just a few days tacked onto a business trip or long weekend where I'd still check emails, voice messages, handle biz, etc.). My mom had completed a third round of chemo (over the past 3 years) and my sister and I decided we needed a family group vacation. Went to a beach in Mexico, purposely did NOT get the Mexico calling or data package, arranged for someone to cover all my business-related activities, and REALLY vacationed.  I, like you, was surprised that the world did not fall apart while I was gone ;).

And, now wonder, what took me so long to realize that we all need real breaks from business & technology?!  I hope more people read this and realize it, too! :) 

@DanielleCyr @ginidietrich and if you don't want to follow their advice, call Judie Kaplan Personal Concierge!

You may not have known this, but I don't own a smartphone. Or a home phone. Only a trac phone that is dead or out of minutes 80% of the time. I don't carry it anywhere turned on. It has costed 60$ in minutes this year.

Like you said, nothing goes to hell when you ditch full time connectivity. 10 years ago we weren't subjected to that. I know too many people who get anxious when they forget their phone, that can't be healthy. From time to time I'll get the urge to sign up on a new contract and plug back in, but then I think of how much people incessantly texting aggravates me, and I forget about it. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person in the world who still experiences freedom :( Since when was 150$ per month for phone service a must have commodity anyway?

@ginidietrich Great post. I wrote a blog post coming out later this week, inspired by the same NYT article. Will send you the link.

I used to respond to all of my emails within moments of receiving them. Over time it got to be ridiculous because the amount I received made doing so untenable.

More importantly, most simply weren't important enough to require an immediate response. Once I stopped responding so quickly I found a lot of "missing time."

But it took effort to do it and to train people not to freak out if I didn't respond the second I got their message.

So much fun to read about how you and your business changed, Gini! I'm similar to you that I try to really step away from work on the weekend. I allow myself to check my phone for emails a few times during the day, and even then I just skim -- if something screams out that it's important, then I'll open it and read it. I'm living with my grandparents this summer, and I can tell they don't like it when I'm on my phone all the time, so I've started "neglecting" it (aka living life like a normal person, I suppose!). I had the same exact reaction you did. I was pleasantly surprised at how nice it was to be without it and feeling the need to constantly check it...and yeah, the world didn't end! A few times people have tried to contact me when I'm out and about, and they survived without hearing back from me right away. AMAZING.

What else? I've cut way back on television (except that I'm tuning into all of the sports, between tennis and the Olympics), and I've picked up golf on the weekends. I try to get out and get some fresh air every day, whether it's a 10 minute walk in the middle of the day, or a two mile walk around the golf course after dinner, when it's still beautiful outside. If I want to do something like lounge around outside and read all day on the weekend, I let myself do it without feeling guilty. Following what will make me happy in that moment has improved my overall happiness and relaxation, I think. It's a great feeling.

Great! I decided to live this way months ago, now it's going to be a trend (just hurt my arm patting myself on the back). 

A few ways I'm escaping the busy trap:

1. I take my vacations and regular time off. Sounds simple, but it's amazing how many people don't do it. In fact, I often hear people bragging about how much vacation time they've accrued. As a leader in my department, I'm not only escaping my own trap, but trying to help others to do the same...while also proving that productivity won't suffer, and may even improve because of well-rested and energized peeps.

2. More time with family. This has already been mentioned, but I agree with the idea of having breakfast with family. During the school year, I eat breakfast with my youngest daughter every morning (she gets up too late during the summer). My oldest daughter works near me and we now make time to have lunch together at least once a week.

3. I changed my attitude about being busy and "killing time". I no longer look at  naps, reading fiction,  listening to music. and hanging with friends as "time killers". I look at them as activities that are as important as anything else I do. 

Thanks for the post. I think it's an important topic. We sometimes move too fast and our priorities get messed up. It's nice to take some time to reevaluate and make necessary tweaks. 

OK, gotta run. Way too busy to stay on this site all day. 

Great insights Gini! Love hearing how happy this transition is making you. Creating less noise is something I've done over the last two months with my blog and social media in general. I took time to reflect on my direction and what I wanted to share. The time away allowed me to focus on what was happening in real life and realize I'm never to busy for the important stuff - saying yes to invitations, enjoying the new city where I had moved and spending time catching up with family and friends in the city I left. The reward? In three days I've drafted three fresh blog posts and am feeling energized to jump back into the swing of things.

I am SO caught up in this notion of finding happiness as of late. I cannot tell you how many times a day I hit that home key on my iPhone to see if I missed a call or text - I am literally annoying myself. I love that you leave your phone at home but the second I do that I panic ' what if my car breaks down?' 'what if something happens to my parents?' the usual stuff. I admit I need to exercise but I am eating healthier and that is helping with my energy level. Aside from releasing myself from the phone (which is least likely to happen), I need someone to steal my TV remote or the entire TV. I get so sucked into it and realized hours went by. This does nothing to help me relax, rejuvenate or get anything done. My 'busy-ness' when I am not at work is typically doing nothing but I often say I am oh so busy because it sounds better. I bet Tim Kreider's friend is not as busy as he says he is if he can take off work at selected times (for an event maybe?). We all like to be busy and it's just hard to cut the cord and stop once in awhile.

I've been seeing a considerable pendulum shift in this way all year. Focus is one of my priorities for the year as well. So far it's manifesting itself in doing one thing at a time instead of 15 and also in turning off the social media channels for certain time periods of the day. I believe doing this and also enjoying the weekend will help us all be healthier, and make for stronger relationships.

Thanks for the reminder Gini.  Isn't it amazing to find out how much of that busy was really not busy but rather "make work" after all?  Every few months I have to remind myself to concentrate on the important things and let the other take care of itself.

@MissVersatile whoa miss! I gotta check out that new avi

I enjoyed your reply. Collaboration is often required due to the plethora of information. I posted some quotes on jimparrishavitator.com

@hackmanj Thanks for sharing the insights.

I guess it is all about balance, this one has swung to both extremes for me (but usually the opposite - not enough scheduling and work but this was largely in the past 2003-2006) over the years. I'd add:

1. Allow yourself time for a daily power nap. (10-15 minutes at 3PM is bliss)

2. Don't check your Email/electronics when you wake up. Have breakfast with your family, etc. first (compliments of @sanderssays )

I am completely impressed you are leaving your cell phone home for two hours, but you might want to extend that time. :)

This is a lesson that I think requires ongoing learning, adjusting and prioritizing but ultimately it's so important. At the end of the day I always remind myself that my relationships with my family and friends are one of my biggest priorities because without them there's no reason to celebrate my little successes in life! Great post Gini. I'm glad you're doing well and you're happy. I definitely need to see this cyclist tan...I think it might become my new thing to tease you about (hey you do make it so easy! hehe).