Gini Dietrich

Happy Birthday to Me from Jack Bauer

By: Gini Dietrich | February 10, 2012 | 

Today’s guest post is written by Jack Bauer.

It’s my birthday and Mr. D thought it would be funny to have Jack Bauer “write” today’s blog post. So, um, here it is. 

Hello, my name is Jack Bauer.

The rumors are true. I love food.

Technically, I believe our definitions of “food” may be slightly different, but that’s not why I took time out from my hectic daily schedule to write my first post on Spin Sucks.

Everyone knows I am a bit of a social media “noob” as the pups call it these days.  I do have a Facebook page, and occasionally I’ll post.  But frankly, the treat-to-time ratio isn’t really worth the effort. I have better luck waiting for Mr. D to forget to take out the trash or turn his back on a plate of food (again.)  That guy never learns.

I did hear there is a canine Facebook. I even checked it out, but once I realized you couldn’t smell a single friend I walked away.  Anyone could post anything.  How would you ever know the truth?  If I can stick my nose in there and smell for myself, I don’t trust anyone.

I know for a fact there are beagles to be claiming to be bloodhounds.  A Chihuahua friend of mine was posting as Great Dane.  It’s simple chaos.  I even know a bulldog who tried to post a pic of him without an underbite.  Who would ever believe that?

But today is special.  It’s my mom’s birthday. What does this mean?  Yes, her iPhone will explode from Facebook and Twitter alerts.

But back to me, I’l be able to score at least a couple of cupcakes, probably more if Aunt Patti comes by. She rocks.

However, it also means I have the opportunity to thank the woman who saved my life, opened her home, her heart and her kitchen cabinets/trash cans/dirty laundry baskets to me.

I am writing a brief but heartfelt note to the beautiful woman who feeds me, spoils me, cleans my ears, runs with me, and loves me.

Happy Birthday Momma!

Now, if you will excuse me, the mailman is due any minute and I can still squeeze in a nap in Mr. D’s spot on the bed before he gets back from basketball.  He gets all worked up when he catches me there and starts barking orders.  Off! Down!  Rollover…yada yada yada.

Relax buddy. It’s usually easier to just give in after a bit and make the poor guy feel like he’s in charge.  After all, he picks up my poop. Who do YOU think is the real Alpha Male in this house?

Typed in human words by Mr. D.

About Gini Dietrich

Gini Dietrich is the founder and CEO of Arment Dietrich, an integrated marketing communications firm. She is the author of Spin Sucks, co-author of Marketing in the Round, and co-host of Inside PR. She also is the lead blogger at Spin Sucks and is the founder of Spin Sucks Pro.

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107 responses to “Happy Birthday to Me from Jack Bauer”

  1. belllindsay says:

    “I am writing a brief but heartfelt note to the beautiful woman who feeds me, spoils me, cleans my ears, runs with me, and loves me.” – Jack Bauer my ass!!! Hellooo, Mr. D…!?

  2. Happy Birthday to the cutest rider I’ve ever known and all the very best :)Keep on ROCKING.

  3. KenMueller says:

    Awesome. Happy Birthday and thanks for all your help and inspiration. As much as I poke fun at you, I’m sure you know the spirit behind it. I really do value our friendship. And now, go spoil JB and have a great day!

  4. katskrieger says:

    Love it. Happy happy! I hope you have a rocking day! Enjoy it! 😉

  5. Very entertaining. Happy birthday to ya!

  6. Hahahaha…”technically, I believe our definition of food may be slightly different…” Hilarious! My belief is that dogs are the superior beings…we are here to serve them! What other creature can communicate with a mere look, cause people to stop what they are doing to faun all over them, get food by just wagging their tail, and be allowed to shed on, drool on and occupy entire pieces of furniture while we sit on the floor? Yea…I rest my case.
    That said, Jack Bauer is one lucky dog…his Momma is awesome with a capital “A”!! Happy Birthday awesome Gini….you deserve the best!
    Love, hugs and slobbers,
    Claudia, Gus and their owners, Chloe and Phoebe

  7. sydcon_mktg says:

    HA!!! That was awesome!! Have a awesome day, Gini! Enjoy your birthday present…SNOW!!! 🙂

  8. lauraclick says:

    Well done with your post, Jack! My dog, Bailey, was all set to respond (she too is very concerned about time-to-treat ratios), but she was running late for her appointments at doggie day care. She sends her best.

    Hope you have a super fantastic birthday, Gini!!!!

  9. Lisa Gerber says:

    HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! xoxoxoxo

  10. jenzings says:

    Happiest of birthdays, Gini!

  11. John_Trader1 says:

    Happy birthday to a person who is smart, witty, and funny and reminds me a lot of myself. Hope today is magical!

  12. Happy birthday, Gini! You are so lucky to have such a talented family. Charlie is too exhausted after her walk at the lake this morning to wish anyone a happy birthday, let alone inspire a blog post. If she were awake right now I know she’d want you to give Jack B a long ear scratch for us.

  13. DonovanGroupInc says:

    H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S. Happy brithday Mrs. D.

  14. trontastic says:

    Hi Jack, my humans calls me Yankee (or Bonk because I like to run head-first into stuff), I’m a 5 month old yellow lab. One of my humans read this to me and I wanted to agree that Dogbook is full of fakes. Rumor has it, the cat down my street is pretending to be a lab in order to lure unsuspecting pups into her layer of EVIL. Anyway, my human is getting tired of typing now so wish your mom a happy birthday and nice meeting you.

  15. Happy birthday smarty. I’ll keep the name calling to a minimum today. After all it’s your special day.

  16. Leon says:

    Some ladies I know would be judgin’

    That birthday cheers from a curmudgeon

    Would mean riotous fun

    Overwhelmed everyone

    And embrace them without any fudgin’

    Just anniverse all over the place Gini,


  17. Faryna says:

    Happy Birthday, Gini! Just wanted to say thank you for… you. You are amazing!

  18. rustyspeidel says:


  19. PattiRoseKnight says:

    No cupcakes for your Mr. Bauer (but I may sneak you a doggie treat but don’t rat me out) but I must agree that you are the true alpha male and yes your mom and dad deserve a ton of thanks for picking the most handsome dog in the whole world to be their very own.

  20. MSchechter says:

    Ummm… treat-to-time ratio is awesome. Sounds like Jack could join my dog Ammey’s startup. Ammey’s We Lick Em Clean Plate Cleaning Service. If you’re not happy with the first plate, she will gladly lick another plate clean at no charge.

    Happy Birthday Gini, like Jack, we’re all luck to have you open your home, your heart and your kitchen cabinets/trash cans/dirty laundry baskets to us (although to be honest, you could spare the rest of us that last bit).

    Have a great one!

  21. C_Pappas says:

    How sweet of Jack to write this nice post! I didnt realize what a funny guy he is 🙂 Have a very happy birthday Gini!

  22. Hajra says:

    Hey Jack, seems like Mr. D did a great job putting all your thoughts in human words; let him be the Alpha Male for the day; make it your mommy’s b’day present!

    Happy Birthday to the Mommy in House! 🙂

  23. AbbieF says:

    @VivaDog is a bit busy right now at the spa, but she asked me to respond for her and tell you to tell your mom happy birthday.

  24. belllindsay says:

    My goddamn cats better write me a post tomorrow.

  25. markjcoker says:

    @ginidietrich Tell Jack that was a great post. You should have him on more often. The bad news is now our lab wants to write a post. It’s been killing me trying to find a keyboard with REALLY BIG keys. Can you provide help here?

    • ginidietrich says:

      @markjcoker I think you might have to type for him. In the meantime, I’ll have Jack Bauer start developing one for you.

  26. JoyFull_deb says:

    Jack is an extremely talented writer, errrr, dictator in this case. Mr. D is the talented typist 🙂

    You know I love JB, so this was a real treat to read. ….however, I love YOU to the moon & back. That said, “Happy…happy birthday, Top Chef !!” You are one in a gazillion. And, let JB have at least one cupcake. xoxo

    • ginidietrich says:

      @JoyFull_deb There were no cupcakes for either one of us. We have to watch our girlish figures. But there was wine. Lots of wine. xoxox

  27. jennalanger says:

    Hey Jack, we met once before and you were great to hang out with. You greeted me with a wagging tail and were lounging in the sun, showing us all how life should be lived.

    Take good care of @ginidietrich night, and make sure she get’s to relax this weekend – show her the good life.

    • ginidietrich says:

      @jennalanger Jack Bauer wanted me to tell you, “Gini had a great birthday. I bought her a gift card to Free People. I don’t know why it’s called that because they don’t have any people prisoners in there. Unless those faceless bodies count…”

  28. HLeichsenring says:

    my name is Fenya and I am a 9 month old mix of Labrador and German Sheppard. I told my (so called) boss to write this for me, because my paws did not match with the keyboard.

    I just wanted to say “Hello” to Jack Bauer and wish him a Happy Birthday. Unfortunately I am too far away to come along and say this in person. But never mind, if some day these things from Startreck works, I will be able to make some easy visits abroad.

    A smile from Germany


    • ginidietrich says:

      @HLeichsenring Dear Fenya, I hope one day we can meet in person. My mom tells me I’m too big to fly on the plane, but my dad flies and he’s bigger than me. We’ll figure out a way! Much love, Jack Bauer

  29. write4unj says:

    Belated Happy Birthday, Gini!! (As my MIL’s 90th birthday was the same day, we were caught up in a weekend of celebration, which is why I’m only now reading e-mails.) JB is lucky to have such a wonderful mom (and it sounds like he has a pretty good dad too). I hope you had a wonderful day! (And that JB got to enjoy at least one cupcake.)

  30. NancyCawleyJean says:

    Love, love, LOVE Jack Bauer’s first post! All dog lovers should read this, and I’ll be sure to read this to my own spoiled pup, Phoebe. And by the way, miss, I’m embarrassed that I missed your birthday, so here it is… HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope it was fantastic!!!

  31. feliciahudson says:

    Happy belated birthday, Gini! As an “auntie” to a few canine honeys, I LOVE this post. If you’re reading this, Jack, you are one lucky hound. It sounds like you have a fabulous life.

  32. […] on Gini Dietrich’s birthday. If you want to join in her birthday greetings, check out this happy birthday post from Jack Bauer, Gini’s dog. Happy birthday […]

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