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Happy Birthday to Me from Jack Bauer
Today’s guest post is written by Jack Bauer.
It’s my birthday and Mr. D thought it would be funny to have Jack Bauer “write” today’s blog post. So, um, here it is.
Hello, my name is Jack Bauer.
The rumors are true. I love food.
Technically, I believe our definitions of “food” may be slightly different, but that’s not why I took time out from my hectic daily schedule to write my first post on Spin Sucks.
Everyone knows I am a bit of a social media “noob” as the pups call it these days. I do have a Facebook page, and occasionally I’ll post. But frankly, the treat-to-time ratio isn’t really worth the effort. I have better luck waiting for Mr. D to forget to take out the trash or turn his back on a plate of food (again.) That guy never learns.
I did hear there is a canine Facebook. I even checked it out, but once I realized you couldn’t smell a single friend I walked away. Anyone could post anything. How would you ever know the truth? If I can stick my nose in there and smell for myself, I don’t trust anyone.
I know for a fact there are beagles to be claiming to be bloodhounds. A Chihuahua friend of mine was posting as Great Dane. It’s simple chaos. I even know a bulldog who tried to post a pic of him without an underbite. Who would ever believe that?
But today is special. It’s my mom’s birthday. What does this mean? Yes, her iPhone will explode from Facebook and Twitter alerts.
But back to me, I’l be able to score at least a couple of cupcakes, probably more if Aunt Patti comes by. She rocks.
However, it also means I have the opportunity to thank the woman who saved my life, opened her home, her heart and her kitchen cabinets/trash cans/dirty laundry baskets to me.
I am writing a brief but heartfelt note to the beautiful woman who feeds me, spoils me, cleans my ears, runs with me, and loves me.
Happy Birthday Momma!
Now, if you will excuse me, the mailman is due any minute and I can still squeeze in a nap in Mr. D’s spot on the bed before he gets back from basketball. He gets all worked up when he catches me there and starts barking orders. Off! Down! Rollover…yada yada yada.
Relax buddy. It’s usually easier to just give in after a bit and make the poor guy feel like he’s in charge. After all, he picks up my poop. Who do YOU think is the real Alpha Male in this house?
Typed in human words by Mr. D.
Happy belated birthday, Gini! As an "auntie" to a few canine honeys, I LOVE this post. If you're reading this, Jack, you are one lucky hound. It sounds like you have a fabulous life.
@feliciahudson He DOES have a fabulous life. Maybe one day you'll meet him. And steal your heart.
Latest blog post: Shift from a Tactical to a Strategic Approach
Love, love, LOVE Jack Bauer's first post! All dog lovers should read this, and I'll be sure to read this to my own spoiled pup, Phoebe. And by the way, miss, I'm embarrassed that I missed your birthday, so here it is... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope it was fantastic!!!
@NancyCawleyJean Please...no reason to be embarrassed unless you live with me! xoxo
Latest blog post: Shift from a Tactical to a Strategic Approach
Belated Happy Birthday, Gini!! (As my MIL's 90th birthday was the same day, we were caught up in a weekend of celebration, which is why I'm only now reading e-mails.) JB is lucky to have such a wonderful mom (and it sounds like he has a pretty good dad too). I hope you had a wonderful day! (And that JB got to enjoy at least one cupcake.)
@write4unj Thank you!! A 90th birthday party?! WOW!! Good for her!
Latest blog post: Shift from a Tactical to a Strategic Approach
my name is Fenya and I am a 9 month old mix of Labrador and German Sheppard. I told my (so called) boss to write this for me, because my paws did not match with the keyboard.
I just wanted to say "Hello" to Jack Bauer and wish him a Happy Birthday. Unfortunately I am too far away to come along and say this in person. But never mind, if some day these things from Startreck works, I will be able to make some easy visits abroad.
A smile from Germany
Fenya
@HLeichsenring Dear Fenya, I hope one day we can meet in person. My mom tells me I'm too big to fly on the plane, but my dad flies and he's bigger than me. We'll figure out a way! Much love, Jack Bauer
Latest blog post: Shift from a Tactical to a Strategic Approach
Hey Jack, we met once before and you were great to hang out with. You greeted me with a wagging tail and were lounging in the sun, showing us all how life should be lived.
Take good care of @ginidietrich night, and make sure she get's to relax this weekend - show her the good life.
@jennalanger Jack Bauer wanted me to tell you, "Gini had a great birthday. I bought her a gift card to Free People. I don't know why it's called that because they don't have any people prisoners in there. Unless those faceless bodies count..."
Latest blog post: Shift from a Tactical to a Strategic Approach
Jack is an extremely talented writer, errrr, dictator in this case. Mr. D is the talented typist :-)
You know I love JB, so this was a real treat to read. ....however, I love YOU to the moon & back. That said, "Happy...happy birthday, Top Chef !!" You are one in a gazillion. And, let JB have at least one cupcake. xoxo
@JoyFull_deb There were no cupcakes for either one of us. We have to watch our girlish figures. But there was wine. Lots of wine. xoxox
Latest blog post: Shift from a Tactical to a Strategic Approach
@ginidietrich Tell Jack that was a great post. You should have him on more often. The bad news is now our lab wants to write a post. It's been killing me trying to find a keyboard with REALLY BIG keys. Can you provide help here?
@markjcoker I think you might have to type for him. In the meantime, I'll have Jack Bauer start developing one for you.
Latest blog post: Shift from a Tactical to a Strategic Approach
@belllindsay This comment has been made famous via @inside_pr
Latest blog post: Gin and Topics: Future Hipsters, Butterfingers, and Unlucky People
@belllindsay That's just too much pressure for them you see. And you need a Mr. to put that into human words... I don't have one of those :(
@VivaDog is a bit busy right now at the spa, but she asked me to respond for her and tell you to tell your mom happy birthday.
@AbbieF@vivadog Thanks Viva! I'll tell her. And you should come visit me with your mom sometime.
Latest blog post: Gin and Topics: Future Hipsters, Butterfingers, and Unlucky People
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Hey Jack, seems like Mr. D did a great job putting all your thoughts in human words; let him be the Alpha Male for the day; make it your mommy's b'day present!
Happy Birthday to the Mommy in House! :)
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@Hajra Heck no! My mom wants ME to be the Alpha Male all the time!
Latest blog post: Gin and Topics: Future Hipsters, Butterfingers, and Unlucky People
@Erin F. LOL! I have a very creative husband (er, dog)
Latest blog post: Gin and Topics: Future Hipsters, Butterfingers, and Unlucky People
How sweet of Jack to write this nice post! I didnt realize what a funny guy he is :) Have a very happy birthday Gini!
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@C_Pappas Nor did you know he was creative or that he actually knows it's my birthday!
Latest blog post: Gin and Topics: Future Hipsters, Butterfingers, and Unlucky People
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Ummm... treat-to-time ratio is awesome. Sounds like Jack could join my dog Ammey's startup. Ammey's We Lick Em Clean Plate Cleaning Service. If you're not happy with the first plate, she will gladly lick another plate clean at no charge.
Happy Birthday Gini, like Jack, we're all luck to have you open your home, your heart and your kitchen cabinets/trash cans/dirty laundry baskets to us (although to be honest, you could spare the rest of us that last bit).
Have a great one!
No cupcakes for your Mr. Bauer (but I may sneak you a doggie treat but don't rat me out) but I must agree that you are the true alpha male and yes your mom and dad deserve a ton of thanks for picking the most handsome dog in the whole world to be their very own.
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Some ladies I know would be judgin'
That birthday cheers from a curmudgeon
Would mean riotous fun
Overwhelmed everyone
And embrace them without any fudgin'
Just anniverse all over the place Gini,
Leon
This comment has been deleted
Hi Jack, my humans calls me Yankee (or Bonk because I like to run head-first into stuff), I'm a 5 month old yellow lab. One of my humans read this to me and I wanted to agree that Dogbook is full of fakes. Rumor has it, the cat down my street is pretending to be a lab in order to lure unsuspecting pups into her layer of EVIL. Anyway, my human is getting tired of typing now so wish your mom a happy birthday and nice meeting you.
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@trontastic Hi Bonk. Jack is sleeping right now (too much excitement this morning), but I'll be sure to let him know you stopped by. Tell your dad thanks from me!
[...] on Gini Dietrich’s birthday. If you want to join in her birthday greetings, check out this happy birthday post from Jack Bauer, Gini’s dog. Happy birthday [...]