Today’s guest post is written by Jack Bauer.
It’s my birthday and Mr. D thought it would be funny to have Jack Bauer “write” today’s blog post. So, um, here it is.
Hello, my name is Jack Bauer.
The rumors are true. I love food.
Technically, I believe our definitions of “food” may be slightly different, but that’s not why I took time out from my hectic daily schedule to write my first post on Spin Sucks.
Everyone knows I am a bit of a social media “noob” as the pups call it these days. I do have a Facebook page, and occasionally I’ll post. But frankly, the treat-to-time ratio isn’t really worth the effort. I have better luck waiting for Mr. D to forget to take out the trash or turn his back on a plate of food (again.) That guy never learns.
I did hear there is a canine Facebook. I even checked it out, but once I realized you couldn’t smell a single friend I walked away. Anyone could post anything. How would you ever know the truth? If I can stick my nose in there and smell for myself, I don’t trust anyone.
I know for a fact there are beagles to be claiming to be bloodhounds. A Chihuahua friend of mine was posting as Great Dane. It’s simple chaos. I even know a bulldog who tried to post a pic of him without an underbite. Who would ever believe that?
But today is special. It’s my mom’s birthday. What does this mean? Yes, her iPhone will explode from Facebook and Twitter alerts.
But back to me, I’l be able to score at least a couple of cupcakes, probably more if Aunt Patti comes by. She rocks.
However, it also means I have the opportunity to thank the woman who saved my life, opened her home, her heart and her kitchen cabinets/trash cans/dirty laundry baskets to me.
I am writing a brief but heartfelt note to the beautiful woman who feeds me, spoils me, cleans my ears, runs with me, and loves me.
Happy Birthday Momma!
Now, if you will excuse me, the mailman is due any minute and I can still squeeze in a nap in Mr. D’s spot on the bed before he gets back from basketball. He gets all worked up when he catches me there and starts barking orders. Off! Down! Rollover…yada yada yada.
Relax buddy. It’s usually easier to just give in after a bit and make the poor guy feel like he’s in charge. After all, he picks up my poop. Who do YOU think is the real Alpha Male in this house?
Typed in human words by Mr. D.