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Arment Dietrich

Three Truths that Made the Difference

By: Arment Dietrich | September 28, 2010 | 
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Guest post by Frank Dickinson of Huckleberry Media Connection.

Not where you want to be in life or business?

Tired of that sickening feeling in the pit of your gut?

Do you find yourself blaming others?

The Company.

The Pay Plan.

The Job.

The Wife.

The Husband.

The Childhood.

The Money Problem.

The Kids.

Have you ventured out and been slapped back?

Ready to quit?

DON’T DO IT.

Read on, please.

Three years ago, almost to the day, I was at a place in life and business where I could honestly answer YES to each and every one of the above questions.

I know the feelings and pain associated with wanting to give up. Not fun – not fun at all.

Thankfully I found a mentor – or he found me, I’m still not sure.

Here are the things I learned that changed me just enough to consider the possibility of staying in the game.

Three Truths that Made the Difference

1. I learned: A person cannot do anything beyond his self-image.

We all have a self-image – the way we see ourselves. Where most people go awry is that they do not connect that self-image with how they think about – and act – in the world around them.

It’s an unwritten rule that a person simply cannot act in a way that is different from her self-image. I’m not talking about “faking it ’til you make it.” I’m talking about living a true and authentic life. You can’t do that without a positive, inspiring, beautiful self-image.

You just cannot.

Change your mind and you change your life.

It REALLY is not any harder than that – please do not try and make it so.

2. I learned: Focus on other people.

When you take your focus off your self-hatred and turn that focus positively on other people, they look back at you a certain way and you realize that you made a difference, and your thinking about you begins to change.

Your response to you changes when people respond to your gracious love and help.

Do you want to change you? Go help others.

3. I learned: You don’t have to get it right, you just have to get it going.

Have you spent the last six months “learning the business”? Let me ask you: How much closer has that taken you to your goal? Are the bills still rolling in while you are out there “taking it all in”?

You don’t have to get it right, you just have to get it going.

Action is a great motivator. The best in my book. Take it from me, you will NEVER learn it all. There is way too much information out there and it is in constant flux.

Stop holding yourself back with the notion that you have to KNOW it before you can DO it.

Ladies and gents, it’s time to get off your butt, stop being enthralled by all the “shiny things,” and get into action.

Conclusion: Get past your negative self-image. Do it by taking action now. Make your first action all about helping others.

No one is holding you back – but you.

Frank Dickinson is a blogger and affiliate marketer. He is chief cook and bottle washer at Huckleberry Media Connection, a little joint near St. Louis whose goal is to “create conversations in a world of chatter.”

28 comments
Pam
Pam

I found you through Megan Matthieson's website and twitter. When I read this I felt it was written right at me. While my belief system has always taught that focusing on and helping others will help you feel better about yourself, the idea of changing my self image was never part of that. Sure, helping others was supposed to make me feel good, but I'm not sure I connected that to self image because I think you can help others and be glad you made a difference without changing how you think of yourself. Thanks for helping me see that.

Pam
Pam

Totally! So simply put and easily understood for me now.

Frank Dickinson
Frank Dickinson

Thanks Pam - glad to meet you!

Think of the motion in the other direction : Out of your self-image comes the ability to love yourself. You are then able to give that love away to others. And finally, that action of loving others comes back to you in increasing your self image.

Make sense?

Megan Matthieson
Megan Matthieson

I love your 'focus on other people'. I love this part of the post and that is always what comes across in your posts and tweets. And it's such beautiful advice, Frank. Love is an energy. To give it, we feel it ourselves. We hold it in our hands. My 'message' is about finding it within yourself, and then you can love big towards someone else. But you know how some people say,,, if you aren't happy- just smile and it will start to make you feel happy? I think this is true. So get off ur ass and go love someone. Find out the shiz. xo

Frank Dickinson
Frank Dickinson

Megan -

Multiple religions and philosophies have all held that love for others starts first with love of oneself.

It's a beautiful thing when that love moves outward towards others - I see that in your dancing - and in your writing.

You have taken your "get off your ass and go love somebody" to heart. We are all better for it.

Sally G.
Sally G.

Good morning everyone! Dan, thank you for hosting Frank on your site this week ~ his posts generate really good discussion.

Frank - I think if more people truly understood the transformational powers of Awareness, there wouldn't be nearly as much struggle in the world.

It's important that we never become too identified with the roles we happen to be playing at any given time. Doing so limits our perspective, finding us operating within a range of conditioned patterns and behaviours that ultimately determines the nature of the experience will lack imagination or creativity.

At the end of the day, we are the space of consciousness in which everything happens in our lives. We are the Awareness that observes all that we are experiencing. Forgetting this and getting lost in the emotion or the role removes us from the big picture ~ and our infinite potential diminishes as a direct result.

Your three Truths seem to be working for you quite well. Many blessings my friend ...

Frank Dickinson
Frank Dickinson

When I read your comment here Sally - one word resonates through me - FREEDOM

The freedom of a life lived within awareness is, well, freeing.

Thanks for always making me think!

Lori Paquette
Lori Paquette

You're talking to me aren't you, Frank? Yep, action is a great motivator. Now that I've gotten my arse kicked a few times and very publicly set my new rate schedule in front of the folks at Sarah Robinson's Creating Irrestible Presence, there's no turning back. No basking in after glow. Just roll up sleeves and act ... baby steps are fine, just take them.

Thank you, Frank, for sharing!!

Lori Paquette
Lori Paquette

Thank you, Frank!

Yes, I was at CIP and it was amazing. Worth opening the can of worms. Lots of energy swirling about. Channeled much of it and got grounded. I even recharged Elizabeth Marshall's dead camera batteries w/ my energy (gotta love those Reiki parlor tricks!) She's doing CIP 2011 so I expect you to be there!

Frank Dickinson
Frank Dickinson

Wow, I didn't know you were at CIP - can't wait for next time - I'm definitely there!

So - you opened a can of worms eh? Cool - now act - embrace the fear and move. One step at a time Lori.

You will do fine - NO - you will do great things!

OneJillian
OneJillian

Wow, that was like a pep rally! what a motivating post, very positive. Go Rydell High!

Frank Dickinson
Frank Dickinson

Glad you enjoyed!

A good pep rally is needed every once in a while eh?

Lisa MB
Lisa MB

Another one out of the park, Frank.

All 3 "truths" resonate but #1 is especially present in my life right now. Changing my mind = changing my stories.
I remembered recently :) that I can do that ANY time.

Lisa MB
Lisa MB

Sometimes I could just kiss you. :)

Frank Dickinson
Frank Dickinson

Changing your mind and self image leads to "authentic" stories.

Your writing Lisa exemplifies the ability to be in touch with who you are, but to always be seeking to tweak, change, evaluate and act anew.

I'm glad you found resonance here.

Kelly Poelker
Kelly Poelker

Excellent post, Frank. Very inspiring and really brings to light three very important factors. Of course, #3 is always going to be a tough one!

Frank Dickinson
Frank Dickinson

Hey my friend - thanks for dropping in.

When you speak of #3 being tough - you must be speaking of Headway eh? :)

I fully admit, from my perfectionist mentality that #3 is rough sometimes. Somehow, in the midst of that perfectionism, just getting it going unlocks the knowledge needed to get it right.

Does that make sense?

Bob Reed
Bob Reed

Simple. Powerful. Relevant. I'm having a better day just by reading this.

Frank Dickinson
Frank Dickinson

Excellent! Glad you enjoyed Bob and thank you.

Enjoy the heck out of your day!

Ari Herzog
Ari Herzog

Yes, get it going -- but not if you don't care about getting it right.

The only way anything can go right for you is if you're passionate about it. If that passion dies, it is nonsensical to continue doing it.

It is OK to lose interest in whatever you like doing. Don't feel you have to continue doing it.

Frank Dickinson
Frank Dickinson

Yep - exactly.

Here's my simple process:

Action - Evaluate - Tweak - Action

This not only keeps you on course, it also allows for a "passion check".

Lisa MB
Lisa MB

"It is OK to lose interest in whatever you like doing. Don’t feel you have to continue doing it."

I think some people are taught to "finish what they start" and no one mentions the impact of that when the passion is gone. Just going through the motions is not living.

Frank Dickinson
Frank Dickinson

Powerful wisdom here Ari - thanks for sharing.

Action is a great motivator, but you are right, passionate action is key.

Thanks Ari for providing perspective.

Alexandra Reid
Alexandra Reid

That was wonderfully inspiring to read, thank you. I have just began a brand new position at a PR firm, and I find myself getting into a rut sometimes as I try to soak in all the new information. It helps to know that it's Ok to just get going, and that it's impossible to know absolutely everything. I wish you all the best. Keep it up, and stay in the game.

Frank Dickinson
Frank Dickinson

Thank you Alexandra for stopping by. You are appreciated.

Getting going, as I said in the piece, is a strong motivator. That action leads to the energy needed to "learn as you go." It is inspiring and helps you get out of the rut and move forward.

Thanks again!