Jay Dolan

The Five Stages of Writing a #FollowFriday Post

By: Jay Dolan | April 12, 2013 | 

Trust-my-blog-the-anti-social-mediaA few weeks ago Gini and team asked me to fill in while she’s out writing a book or saving the world.

I suspect Gini calls it prioritizing.

I call it getting poor, defenseless bloggers to do your dirty work.

I wasn’t too excited about the gig.

I was going to do my usual song and dance that my cat is better at social media than you.

Everyone laughs. I feel like a good blogger. Everyone wins.

Then I found out I had the #FollowFriday spot. And the five stages of writing a #FollowFriday post began…

Stage One: Delight

Jay Dolan Image #1









Suddenly what was a drab post was an opportunity. A chance to share my secrets to staying ahead of the curve. No longer was I bound to being that “wacky” blogger with the stick figures.

Then I hit a roadblock.

Stage Two: Anxiety

Jay Dolan Image #2









I suspect many people would be delighted to have the #FollowFriday spot. These people are naive and believe in the good of the internet. They haven’t been jaded by social media campaigns reaching the unwashed masses.

Unfortunately, I am not one of those people.

To my own horror I realized I had no one I could recommend. No single person or entity that would inform or entertain the readers of Spin Sucks. My virtual life was over.

Stage Three: Realization

Jay Dolan Image #3









Suddenly it occurred to me that it didn’t matter if my recommendation was any good. I could recommend anyone. I could recommend my cat. I could recommend my other cat!

No one would care. It was my recommendation, and they didn’t have to take it. Or like it.

Stage Four: Corruption

Jay Dolan Image #4









Soon I had machinations and dreams of controlling the internet. I would give one person a perfect Klout score and thousands of new followers.

Their life would change as they went into Starbucks and everyone recognized them as this week’s #FollowFriday!

I was like an internet god.

Stage Five: Reality

Jay Dolan Image #5









Drunk with power, I realized this is a guest blog post, not the presidency. Only a fragment of the world would even follow whoever I recommended. Probably even less if it was my cat.

A boy can dream though, right?

So, Spin Sucks readers – if fate (or Gini Dietrich) gave you the Spin Sucks #FollowFriday platform, who would you recommend? Would you be corrupted by the power? Or go for something more sensible?

About Jay Dolan

Jay Dolan is a Senior Social Media Strategist at Capstrat in Raleigh, NC. At Capstrat, Jay helps his clients develop and implement social media strategy using paid, owned and earned social media tactics. Online, Jay is known best for his blog, The Anti-Social Media, a social media humor and satire blog. Jay is also a failed classical singer and owner of two cats.

  • Sounds like your cat took a page out of my cat’s book (or vice versa!). #FF’s are interesting – I know (because I read the blog!) Gini’s philosophy. I have a group of about 20 (and then I include my running team which is a bunch of people) who I #FF every Friday. But Gini’s piece reminded me that just throwing those #FF’s out without a rationale is not always the best strategy. I would go for someone who takes the time to truly interact w/people on Twitter, who isn’t divisive (there are plenty of THOSE in my stream), and I have a particular heart for causes. Some of my fave #FFs are @leadershipfreak (who really doesn’t need my #FF anymore as his twitter fame has ascended), @newsonlaurens – supporting the family of Lauren Spierer, who has been missing almost 2 years, @hilaryrushford who is a fashion blogger but so much more – she made even this minivan mom feel fashionable, and @charitymiles which is an app that people can use to run, walk, cycle for causes. If my cat had a twitter, of course I’d recommend her. Meow.

    • biggreenpen Hmm, maybe you’re convincing me to actually interact with real people once again.

  • belllindsay

    I would nominate myself. Der. 😉

    • belllindsay If I nominated you, and you asked me to write the post, does that make a Cartesian circle?

      • belllindsay

        JayDolan *head explodes*

  • Your colleague communitygirl might be a good one! But seriously…this post just made me laugh out loud, and then go follow YOU. So there.

    • belllindsay

      rosemaryoneill communitygirl And that’s what it’s allll about! Happy Friday Rosemary! 😀

    • rosemaryoneill I love communitygirl, but I don’t want to make any of my other colleagues jealous.
      At least not yet.

  • I would recommend my dog because she follows me everywhere – even on days that aren’t Friday. Unless she’s running away because one of my blasted kids left the gate open and she’s a husky and they’re pack dogs and they run like the devil’s chasing them looking for their peeps. Or would that be D-eeps? Or maybe H-eeps?

    • KristenDaukas I’d love to recommend my family’s dog, but he was the least social dog I’ve ever seen. I think he was friendly to someone outside the family once.

  • rdopping

    I nominate you because you wrote an original and interesting post and because I don’t know you. You are likely an ok guy and why not you?

    • rdopping I thought about nominating myself, but I’m not egotistical.
      Well, not yet.
      Maybe next time I get the Follow Friday spot I can write “Why Gini really needs to nominate me for #FollowFriday.”

      • belllindsay

        JayDolan rdopping I think you sorta get the FF spot by default. 🙂

  • ElissaFreeman

    LOLOLOL x 100! (Of course, I can laugh because I’m already a FF recipient…ahem…)

    • ElissaFreeman It’s good to be in the VIP club, isn’t it?

  • StacyLORourke

    elissapr SpinSucks hilarious!

  • CherylSchirillo

    Thanks guys KristenDaukas JayDolan Funniest post I’ve read all week. But Jay played it safe in the end ; )

    • JayDolan

      CherylSchirillo Next time I’ll drop the F-Bomb or something.

      • belllindsay

        @JayDolan CherylSchirillo NO swears on Spin Sucks. ginidietrich ‘s mom reads it! 😉

        • belllindsay CherylSchirillo ginidietrich My Mom reads my blog, and she doesn’t get upset when I use curse words.  Just sayin’.

        • belllindsay

          JayDolan belllindsay CherylSchirillo ginidietrich My mom curses like a sailor – as do I – but Gini’s mom is all class.

  • Arment Dietrich, Inc.

    Sorry Ken, I mean pretty funny 🙁 I clearly have not had my coffee ^yp

  • Ha!! Hilarious!! The stick figures are my favorite.

    • yvettepistorio Me too. So easy to draw, and so expressive.

  • Gini Dietrich

    I’m quite pleased.

  • Lindsay Bell-Wheeler

    High praise indeed! 😉

  • I’d nominate the famous writer, Jack Steiner, also known as Dear Abby. He is a man of the people and is the former leader of the land of Pseudonymnia.

    • belllindsay

      Joshua Wilner/A Writer Writes I would nominate Tom Petty.

      • belllindsay We ought to tell Tom is about time for him to write a follow up to American Girl. Where is the love for the Canadians. 😉

        • belllindsay

          Joshua Wilner/A Writer Writes Right? Sheeesh.

  • Keena Lykins

    Love the stick figures and can totally relate. The only person I can think to recommend is my snarky, smart-ased dog.

    • Keena Lykins My one cat is a smarty-pants. He can open the door to my fridge. THE FRIDGE.

      • Keena Lykins

        JayDolan Keena Lykins Abbey has figured out how to open the windows in the car and barks at me if I use the child-lock. She loves feeling the wind in her face.

  • I recommend hearing from the stick cat!

    • belllindsay

      Word Ninja I love stick figures. I wasn’t aware there was a stick cat. Dying! 🙂

      • belllindsay Word Ninja There is a stick cat I do draw on occasion.

        • belllindsay

          JayDolan belllindsay Word Ninja I want the stick cat.

        • belllindsay JayDolan Word Ninja See here: http://theantisocialmedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Cats-on-Google-Plus-The-Anti-Social-Media-300×202.png

        • belllindsay

          JayDolan Word Ninja G’AH! Cutest cat ever!

  • SpinSucks

    Matt_Cerms Thanks for sharing Matt!

    • Matt_Cerms

      SpinSucks Thank you for always writing. Happy happy Friday!

  • communitygirl

    I’m honored to be mentioned here. so I figured the least I could do is show up and post a comment.  I’ve got two to share: @claychristensen @AmyPorterfield.

  • HowieG

    ‘Drunk with power’ @JayDolan you mean just drunk. But seeing the commenting crew, seriously how could not at least wish you were drunk. Booze really does numb the pain. I know you wanted to recommend. Chris Brogan. Brian Solis. The Jamaican Bobsled Team. Justin Bieber. But then only the Bob Sled team knows social media. 
    You really blew it. I totally would of chosen someone that ginidietrich would never choose if it was the last person on Twitter without a Follow Friday yet….like Urkle or someone like that.

    • belllindsay

      HowieG ginidietrich Jealousy doesn’t become you, Howie.

    • HowieG ginidietrich With great power comes great responsibility. Or something. 
      And next time I’ll recommend someone completely inappropriate. Like Courtney Love.

    • HowieG ginidietrich Oh Howie, marry me???

  • JayDolan

    howiegoldfarb SpinSucks Am I a hippy?

    • howiegoldfarb

      JayDolan SpinSucks LOL no not until you grow the dreads and start using patchouli but I have hopes for you.

      • JayDolan

        howiegoldfarb Patchouli? Dreads? My soul is dying.

        • howiegoldfarb

          JayDolan HAHAHA! We are in marketing supposedly we have no soul!

        • belllindsay

          @howiegoldfarb JayDolan Kill ALL the patchouli wearers!

  • CatFoodBreath

    biggreenpen JayDolan I would just mention me. I am awesome.

    • biggreenpen

      Oh, we know. You tell us all the time. #FF RT CatFoodBreath biggreenpen JayDolan I would just mention me. I am awesome.

      • CatFoodBreath

        biggreenpen JayDolan But I don’t tell you enough.

        • biggreenpen

          Yes but it’s WHEN you tell us 3 a.m., 3:23 a.m., 4:11 a.m. 4:49 a.m. #ETC MT CatFoodBreath JayDolan biggreenpen I don’t tell you enough.

  • Misuse the power. Always misuse the power. 😉

  • JodiEchakowitz

    Haha! RT shonali: This is hilarious! The Five Stages of Writing a #FollowFriday Post by JayDolan http://t.co/upCrfF44Yk via ginidietrich

    • shonali

      JodiEchakowitz Wasn’t it?! JayDolan really nice job!

      • JayDolan

        shonali JodiEchakowitz Thanks!

      • JodiEchakowitz

        shonali JayDolan I loved it! Best part, I wasn’t yet reading Jay’s blog. I will going forward 🙂

  • SFCpdx

    FelicityFields That “tradition” I fear has lost it’s veracity, seems now to be merely a chance to generate mentions & RT’s vs. recommends.

    • FelicityFields

      SFCpdx SpinSucks actually does a blog post, not just a tweet, & writes about why they’re commending someone for FollowFriday. It’s sweet.

      • SFCpdx

        FelicityFields Yes, cute post by SpinSucks An aside, I tracked click rate of #FF tweets – has decreased a lot. (Lovely day in #PDX, eh?)

  • Hah this post is GOLD!!! Sorry I missed it last week. If it isn’t too late, my #FollowFriday belongs to YOU, @JayDolan !

  • I’m behind on my SpinSucks consumption, so I am catching up. Loved the pics that went with this post, Jay.
    I’m in Starbucks now…nobody recognized me…so SpinSucks #FollowFriday Fame is fleeting. <sigh>

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