Lindsay Bell

The Three Things, Edition 43

By: Lindsay Bell | August 11, 2013 | 
33

The Three Things

By Lindsay Bell-Wheeler

Welcome to the 43rd edition of The Three Things, the weekly update of three links, podcasts, videos, or books you can’t miss from  Michael Schechter (Honora, A Better Mess), Howie Goldfarb (Blue Star Strategic Marketing), and yours truly, Lindsay Bell.

For those of you new to this series, The Three Things arrives in your inbox on Sunday mornings (unless you don’t subscribe, but that can easily be fixed if you hurry over and enter your email address or add to your RSS feed) so you have some extra time to spend perusing the obscure content we’ve curated for you (and one another) before your week begins and deadlines, meetings, and work takes over.

This week we look at marketing and the NSA, how easy it is to whitewash our lives, and whiny well-off white women. 

Muting

Michael on Self-Censoring. One of the best things about the web is the ability to personalize your experience. You can pick which sites you visit, who you follow, and how you spend your time.

This gift can also be a curse.

If we allow ourselves, we never have to see a single thing we dislike or disagree with. Don’t like what someone said? Block them. Tired of hearing about a certain topic? Mute it. This is tempting, but it’s also dangerous. It leads to a web and a world where we can close ourselves off to reality.

Matt Alexander has touched on the risks a few times on his podcast Bionic, but I was glad to see him flesh his thoughts on his site. This is a quick read and is well well worth your time, especially if you tend to be heavy handed with the filters now available to you.

NSA Cites Case as Success of Phone Data-Collection Program

Howie on Social Media, Facebook Ads, and Social Influence. Marketing success is like the NSA. So much going on yet when asked to prove success instead of an overwhelming volume of proof, they tout the one or two random success stories.

The Opt Out Generation Wants Back In

Lindsay on Women and Work. Nine or so years ago, you couldn’t swing a cat without reading articles or seeing magazine covers expounding upon a massive sea-change in the working world: Women were *gasp* sacrificing it all – high paying jobs and prestige – to stay home with their children.

Well, apparently this highly-educated, mostly white, mostly married (to high-earning spouses), country club cohort has grown tired of volunteering at the kids’ private schools, overseeing “comfortable” renovations on their large, comfortable homes, and shuttling their broods to sporting events and summer camps.

I say broods because they all seem to have have three to four children – “How will we ever afford to put them all through college?”

They want back in, and can’t believe how much they’ve sacrificed. Complaining about a ‘less than’ job that only pays 100 grand a year? Cry. Me. A. River.¬†Marriage breakdown because of the stress of these life choices? Get. In. Line.¬†Clearly this is not ‘me’ at my most unbiased. This New York Times Magazine ‘follow-up’ article really got under my skin. I’m interested to hear your thoughts.

Now it’s your turn. Is there a podcast, video, book, or article you think we need to see?

About Lindsay Bell


Lindsay Bell is the content director at V3 Marketing, and works in Toronto. A former TV producer, she’s a strong advocate of three minutes or less of video content. She has a cool kid, a patient husband, two annoying cats, and Hank Dawge, a Vizsla/Foxhound/moose hybrid. Ok, maybe not moose.

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33 Comments on "The Three Things, Edition 43"

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rdopping
rdopping
2 years 8 months ago

Who said long articles never get read? Geez Lindsay that was a doozie. I can see your point but can’t touch it. I am looking around for my ten foot pole.

belllindsay
2 years 8 months ago

rdopping¬†AARRGGHHH!!! The poor privileged getting knocked down a rung! It breaks my heart to see them struggle so. Pu’lease!!

biggreenpen
2 years 8 months ago
I read it (the opt out generation article). It IS long, and although it clearly has a theme, I also found it wandering all over the place. Marital roles, career ladder deviations, why being alone in a mediocre apartment may be more fulfilling than being together in a manse in a gated community. I think first and foremost parents of either gender who choose to work (and most of us have to … at least one partner) should be respectful of the wide variety of choices that are out there. I don’t think the author of the article was very… Read more »
EdenSpodek
2 years 8 months ago
biggreenpen¬†@belllindsay¬†I could write a blog series about this issue but will opt not to touch most of it with a 10′ pole. I’ve seen way too much animosity in the school yard between the working and SAHMs when my kids were younger; and I’m not in a position to take sides or tick off either group at this point in my career. I’ve always worked full-time from the minute mat leave ended ‚Äď granted it’s longer in Canada, six months when I had my babies and one-year today ‚Äď by both necessity and choice.¬† I’m all about options and respecting… Read more »
biggreenpen
2 years 8 months ago

EdenSpodek biggreenpen Great thoughts, Eden!

belllindsay
2 years 8 months ago

EdenSpodek¬†biggreenpen¬†It’s funny how everyone is focussing on the “stay at home and raise the kids” part. That’s not where my anger with this piece grew from. The anger came from the poor poor things losing a small portion of their insanely cushy lives, and crying about it. Whining about *only* making 100,000$ a year??? Give me a break!!!

EdenSpodek
2 years 8 months ago

belllindsay¬†biggreenpen¬†I thought the cushy lives/salary issue was so ridiculous and out of touch with most North American families it didn’t need to be dignified with a response.

aimeelwest
2 years 8 months ago
belllindsay¬†I totally agree with you about “only’ making $100,000 a year – are you serious!??¬†¬†biggreenpenLove this line ‘time spent with our kids may not show up on our balance sheets but their are payoffs that we can’t quantify.’ I always tried to keep that in mind when I got home from work. I stayed home the first 4 years and my husband stayed home for 5. But that is a whole long story and he was a stay at home dad when it was so not the cool thing to do… ¬†¬†EdenSpodek¬†I really like what you said about respecting choices.… Read more »
belllindsay
2 years 8 months ago
biggreenpen¬†Your comment is bang on. And I recognize it was a ‘follow up’ piece, so to speak, but, as I mentioned to Josh above, I struggle to find the “NYTs’worthyness” of the subject even then! I suppose high falutin’ female doctors and lawyers leaving their careers is news – but come on. Millions of moms never have a job in the first place (to choose to leave) and millions more could never have that luxury – myself included. I worked in TV production when my boy was little – holy stress!! Just thinking back to those times makes my stomach… Read more »
biggreenpen
2 years 8 months ago

Okay, for my contribution – it’s also a teeny tiny pitch – during the month of August, commenting on each day’s #Blogust post will result in a child having access to a vaccination through shotatlife. Each day’s corresponds to a child’s age (i.e., August 1 for a 1 year old, August 2 for 2 year old. etc.) Since today is 8/11, today’s is about an 11 year old: http://www.lovethatmax.com/2013/08/11-summers-of-max-11-more-summers-for.html?m=1

LauraPetrolino
2 years 8 months ago

biggreenpen shotatlife This is awesome!

Joshua Wilner/A Writer Writes
2 years 8 months ago
The stay-at-home-parent conversation is subjective. I spent close to a decade as the sole “provider” income so that my kids wouldn’t be in a day care.¬† In the beginning it was relatively easy because I was making a very good living so we didn’t miss two salaries and then there came a point when things changed and things changed because we felt the second income would barely cover the cost of daycare. The funny thing about it was that the costs hadn’t really changed but the change in my income changed the dynamic again and there have been moments where… Read more »
belllindsay
2 years 8 months ago
Joshua Wilner/A Writer Writes¬†I think my issues Josh was more about the insane focus being put on these poor women (and I say that sarcastically) and their ‘high end’ lives. Why is it “New York Times’worthy”…?? Why was it when they left the workforce originally 9 or so years ago? Millions of women make that decision every day – to stay or go – and 99% of them do not run in country-club circles, or have extreme high-earners as spouses. And millions of women face the same issues – marriages that break down, companies that fire them, the search for… Read more »
RebeccaTodd
2 years 8 months ago

Joshua Wilner/A Writer Writes¬†Solid perspective, Josh. The big difference betwixt you and these…er…whiners in this article is that you take accountability for your choices. Life happens, situations change.

LauraPetrolino
2 years 8 months ago
ok, so I told Lindsay I’d come over here and comment on this article because I have some very strong thought on women, and the way to do or don’t deal in the professional world. I’ve waited all day to try to calm my little self down enough to put together some rational, non-ranting insight on this subject, and well frankly, I give up. This is one of those issues I simply can’t talk about without throwing my arms around in seizure like movements and storming off mid rant to go kick at something and break another toe. Honestly, WOMEN!!!… Read more »
biggreenpen
2 years 8 months ago

LauraPetrolino¬†LOL! Those were great “not comments”! :-)

belllindsay
2 years 8 months ago

biggreenpen LauraPetrolino Standing OVATION!!!!!!

RebeccaTodd
2 years 8 months ago

belllindsay¬†biggreenpen¬†LauraPetrolino¬†AMAZING Laura!!! That was what was lacking from that article for me- no one forced these women to get married or have kids. They CHOSE that life. So don’t suddenly go all drama when your choices don’t lead to the Disney sunshine and lollipop fantasy land that you dreamed of at 5 with a pillow case on your head playing “bride”. Something I never did- I had a cardboard box on my head playing “astronaut”. But I digress- their lives were their choice. Spawning was their choice. Quitting was their choice. No time for this “poor me” drama.

Karen_C_Wilson
2 years 8 months ago
I couldn’t agree with you more, Lindsay Bell-Wheeler. The sense of entitlement from the women in this piece is nauseating. Most women who “opt-out” (and I heartily dislike that term) and then divorce don’t have anywhere near the advantages that these women do. I think it’s also telling that the salaries of the women are discussed but only one mention of child support/alimony and it doesn’t discuss amounts. Not that we need to know every financial detail, but we KNOW that there has to be alimony and child support going to these women. So, they aren’t really providing for their… Read more »
aimeelwest
2 years 8 months ago

Karen_C_Wilson¬†Lindsay Bell-Wheeler¬†did you notice how the children were referred to? This pissed me off ‘find himself sidelined either by his wife‚Äôs devotion to her children or her dedication to work or both’¬†
Devotion to her children Рso they are not his children? 
So as a husband you can be devoted work and that is ok but your family is for the wife and the husband just wants the fun hours before bed? 
Yes I think you said it best he wants his cake and to eat it too.

RebeccaTodd
2 years 8 months ago
Great selection! Before I get to Ell Bee’s pick- Michael- thank you for sharing. Howie- I kinda adore you- saying so much with so little…¬† Argh what bothered me most about the article was the lack of responsibility for their actions. These women CHOSE marriage, CHOSE spawning, CHOSE quitting. Choices. Myself, I just chose a new job with a crazy travel schedule, and chose along with that never to have biological children, and know that my choice will also limit any relationships I may have. I put all these factors on a big pro an cons list, and “excitement, adventure,… Read more »
Karen_C_Wilson
2 years 8 months ago
RebeccaTodd¬†Every time I hear a man or woman (but especially women – not gonna lie) say they’ve felt judged for not having kids, it makes me a little bit crazy. Proof:¬†http://karenschronicles.ca/blog/2011/11/18/you-know-what-they-say-about-assuming.html. The first time a colleague asked me if I wanted to have kids was when I decided people just need to stop making assumptions about each other. He had no idea how touchy a subject that was for me at that particular time, nor would I have told him since he’s the type to keep his woman barefoot and pregnant. That was ten years ago, and I cringe every… Read more »
RebeccaTodd
2 years 8 months ago

Karen_C_Wilson RebeccaTodd Excellent post Karen, thanks for sharing!

Karen_C_Wilson
2 years 8 months ago

RebeccaTodd Thanks. :)

LauraPetrolino
2 years 8 months ago

RebeccaTodd¬†word to this yo! I know we’ve had this discussion before and I obviously so agree with you! And have faced the same!

RebeccaTodd
2 years 8 months ago

LauraPetrolino¬†RebeccaTodd¬†Cue Hall and Oates…

rdopping
rdopping
2 years 8 months ago

Word! I don’t know how Janine feels about this but I work in a company that puts huge value on family BUT is overtly respectful for life. Whichever you choose. J and I chose not to have kids. That doesn’t mean we are safe but ahead is a very smart woman in taking the necessary steps to protect herself. I just shake my head at the audacity of these people. Grow up and see the trees.

RebeccaTodd
2 years 8 months ago

rdopping Well said sir!

photo chris
photo chris
2 years 8 months ago

I don’t know where to start.
Perhaps I will try again later……

Howie Goldfarb
2 years 8 months ago
I guess after my comment on Gini’s post today the real story is the 80% of women and men who can drop out to raise kids and not miss a beat because they have crapy love paying service jobs in retail, banking, childcare/eldercare, restaurants, call centers, etc Jobs with low training requirements. Vs the 1% who have nannies and get bored. Or the 20% who went to college and have jobs that give raises above the cost of living which the bottom 80% do not.¬† Or this generation of college grads who for the first time in 100 years can… Read more »
RebeccaTodd
2 years 8 months ago

Howie Goldfarb¬†EXACTLY. No cover for the woman who quits her minimum wage Tim Hortez job because it doesn’t cover childcare, then comes back at the same rate of pay and status years later. No story there, I guess.

DebraCaplick
2 years 8 months ago

OK Gini, Jack’s got some competition here:¬†http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/living/2013/08/15/orig-distraction-duck-plays-fetch.youtube-petsami.html

lauren_cass
lauren_cass
2 years 8 months ago
Yes the whining of ‘only’ earning $100k is quite distasteful.¬† However, I still think the issue of women in the workforce is an important one.¬† I do think it’s important that women are represented at the board level and particularly in politics.¬† It’s well accepted that diversity in decision making yields better, more creative solutions and that includes diversity of gender.¬† This simply won’t happen without more parent friendly, flexible workplaces.¬† Note I said parent friendly, not mother friendly as I think father’s should be equally supported if they want to spend time at home with their children.¬† That means… Read more »
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