By Corina Manea
I must admit I borrowed this line from Marie Forleo.
I saw this interview with her (which you should too) and it got me thinking.
It got me thinking about how easily we sabotage ourselves and how fast we tend to discard our own accomplishments.
Yes, it’s more of a female “trait,” but I’d be willing to bet it’s not just women who’ve probably found themselves doing this.
I am pretty sure if you think hard, you can tell me right now at least one situation where you beat yourself up for a tiny little thing, discarding in the process everything you did good.
Is this a “disease” of the modern society?
Have we carried this “programming” of our brains for thousand and thousand of years?
Whatever it is, the naked truth is we sabotage ourselves more easily than we give ourselves a pat on the back for a job well-done, thought, or choice.
Why We Sabotage Ourselves
So back to Marie Forleo.
Her passion for finding what she loved to do has stuck with me. I love her determination and hunger to keep going no matter what the people around her say.
And I started thinking of all the times I achieved what I wanted, and also about what a champion I am when it comes to beating myself up for, well everything.
What I found was astonishing (for me).
I found that every time I listened to myself regarding what I truly wanted, I got clarity and focus on achieving whatever it was I wanted.
If, on the contrary, I listened to everyone around me except myself, I got confused, frustrated, afraid, and did nothing.
And this negative circle can go on for years and years if you’re not careful. (I wasn’t!)
I don’t know if we sabotage ourselves because of the way our brains were programmed, but my belief is our society, the world we live in now, has much more to do with it, rather than a thousand years programming.
It starts with our families—the beliefs of those around us.
Then it goes on with what we learn and how we are treated at school, and then in our first jobs.
In no time, half of your life is gone and you didn’t even know how much it affected you and your choices.
But this is a discussion for another time.
Now I want to share with you what I found to be working for me to stop sabotaging myself.
Focus, Focus, Focus
Forget about what others say you should or shouldn’t do.
Have an honest talk with yourself, and discover what is it you want.
To get clarity on your goals, it’s important to forget your current situation.
Start with a positive mind and use Marie Forleo’s “wouldn’t it be cool if…”
Yes, dare to dream big!
Do you remember when you were a kid and got excited about something, whether it was meeting a new friend, going camping, or getting a new toy?
You poured your soul into it.
Do you remember that feeling?
It made you feel unstoppable, didn’t it?
Learn to get excited again, for the smallest thing, feeling, or person that brings you that joy.
It will brighten your day and your mood and positively affect the ones around you.
This may sound very selfish, but it’s not.
Get involved in your own life.
Instead of letting others and circumstances decide your next actions, take the wheel of your life and CHOOSE.
Contrary to the opinion that our circumstances are what they are and we can’t do anything about it, it’s not true.
You decide how you react to a situation.
You decide if you’re going to pity yourself because you were laid off, or see it as an opportunity to get or create the job you really want.
Yet, most of us choose to stay miserable in jobs we don’t like or want, in marriages we are not happy in anymore, or in unhealthy relationships.
This is not a positive pep talk, it’s been proven over and over again.
Every time I applied the above, I didn’t sabotage myself, I became more creative and driven and accomplished EVERYTHING I wanted.
If you take something from the above, take this: YOU are the driver of your life.
Whatever choice you make it’s you and only you making that choice.
Take responsibility for it!
Adjust, refresh, start over.
Remember you’re in the driver’s seat. Take the wheel!
Now, I’d love to hear from you. What did you do to sabotage yourself and how did you get out of that state of mind?
image credit: shutterstock