Remember when you were a kid and Halloween was one night?
You and all of your friends dressed up and went door-to-door, and then you sat on someone’s floor and compared your loot.
Sometimes you traded—and sometimes you hogged it all for yourself.
Then you went home and fell asleep in your costume, in some sort of weird sugar coma.
Now you have the school party, which is always before Halloween. Why they do this is beyond me.
Then you have the neighborhood trick-or-treating before it actually gets dark.
AND THEN actual Halloween rolls around. But by then, kids have so much candy, they really don’t go trick-or-treating.
How did we get here? There is something wrong in this world. Why can’t we just go trick-or-treating on Halloween?
Now, get off my lawn!
Go watch Gin and Topics in your own home.
Gin and Topics for Your Viewing Pleasure
5. Ted Cruz Loves White Castle. This is not meant to be a political post! I repeat, this is not meant to be a political post! So ignore the fact that it’s a video against Ted Cruz and pay very close attention to how this cute little old man says “Whataburger.” Well, that and “Ted.”
4. Uptown Spot. Well, I wasn’t super worried about our robot overlords really, really replacing humans. Until now. This robot dances better than every white boy with an overbite. We’re totally screwed.
3. IHOP Syrup Dances. First the robots become better dancers than the humans. And now the IHOP syrup raps better than us all. What is this world coming to?
2. Really Bad Reasons Not to Vote. President Obama goes through a list of the most common reasons people don’t vote and addresses each of them. I’m quite fond of the second one—and using the Senatorial Zuckerberg testimony as an example of why you should vote. Again, not meant to be a political post. It IS meant, however, to encourage you to vote on November 6, no matter your political affiliation. Vote.
1. Roman Makes Pizza. Look, I know I’m a Roman junkie, but he’s the cutest two-year-old ever. Here he’s making pizza. And, I have to say, his mother is a saint. If my kid made this kind of mess with a pizza, I’d be dying. But I guess that’s why Roman is famous and my small one is not.
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Have a great weekend!