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Help Change the Laws On Stalking
It was 2:40 a.m. and the phone rang.
“Hello?”
“I saw you today.”
“Excuse me?”
“You were wearing a black suit, a blue and white checked shirt, black pantyhose, and black and white heels with a peep toe.”
“Who is this?”
“I’ll be watching you.”
I sat up straight in bed. A man’s voice I didn’t recognize knew exactly what I wore to work that day. He called to tell me about it and then hung up.
He had my home phone number.
He knew what I was wearing!
I called the police. “I’m sorry, ma’am,” she said, “There isn’t anything we can do about a phone call.”
And so I tried to go back to sleep, with every light in my apartment turned on.
This happened night after night. Me being awakened in the middle of the night to a man’s voice on the other end of the phone, telling me what I’d been wearing that day, where I’d gone, who I’d been with.
And there wasn’t anything the police could do.
So I changed my phone number.
And then he started following me. I noticed him one day, when I was out running errands. A red Nissan Sentra. Following me everywhere. So I found the nearest police station and drove into the parking lot.
I went inside and he drove away.
Same thing. “I’m sorry, ma’am. There isn’t anything we can do unless he attacks you.”
Unless he attacks me? Are you serious?
And then he poisoned my dog. The poor puppy almost died.
Again. ”I’m sorry, ma’am. There isn’t anything we can do unless he attacks YOU.”
We finally got the guy when he put cameras in my closet and my bathroom. I was getting dressed one morning and I noticed a little black, almost headphone-looking thing. I tried picking it up and it was attached to a cord that went into my wall and up through my ceiling.
Even though he never attacked me, it was enough for the police that he was watching me shower and get dressed. Finally.
Jodi’s Voice
But some people aren’t so lucky.
Jodi’s Voice was set up out of tragedy. It was named after Jodi Sanderholm, who was murdered by a stalker who had been watching her for 10 years.
Jodi was only 19 when she died, which meant she had been watched by her killer since she was nine years old.
Sadly, this is commonplace among stalking victims. In the U.S. alone, 14 in every 1,000 women of 18 and older are victims of stalking.
And these are only the reported ones.
For Jodi, it was too late. But through Jodi’s Voice, we can help make sure her tragic death is one that helped change the way the law deals with stalkers.
How You Can Help
On June 23, Jodi’s Voice will be having an event in Las Vegas called Fight Stalking in partnership with Sky Combat Ace. Celebrities from the world of entertainment will be going up against each other in aerial combat. Supporters of each celebrity can back their champions with donations and messages of support, and the funds raised will go to Jodi’s Voice.
And it’s the June event for Danny Brown’s 12for12K, an organization that aims to raise a minimum of $12,000 for a different charity each month.
You can help by:
- If you or someone you know has been the victim of stalking and you wish to share your story, share in the comments or on our Facebook page.
- Add a 12for12k Twibbon to your Twitter or Facebook profile picture. Details can be found here along with instructions on how to change your picture.
- Write a blog post of your own, and either share your story or link back to this post.
- Make a donation to Jodi’s Voice, a full 501(c)3 registered charity (12for12K is talking with a few organizations to make a matching grant). You can use the ChipIn widget below, and it will go direct to Jodi’s Voice and you will receive a tax receipt (payments can be made via Paypal or credit card) – just click on the green ChipIn button. You can also embed the widget on your own blog by using the Copy option.
- Embed this video on your blog or share the link on Twitter and Facebook, and help raise awareness of some of the statistics around stalking.
If you have your own story, or know someone that does, I’d love to read about it in the comments below or provide a link to your blog post about it. Anything you can do to help raise awareness is great.
Perhaps we can even get laws changed so it doesn’t take an attack or a murder before something is done.
Gini,
I wanted to comment on this the other day, but I had such poor internet connection stuck way out on a desolate island off the GA coast (sigh). I am truly speechless at your story, and I am just very relieved everything worked out for you in the end, and I also applaud your courage for sharing with us. I certainly hope we never get to a 1984 like state punishing "thought crimes", but it is absolutely black and white that stalking isn't such a crime. It is an act of aggression and a threat to those being stalked. I certainly will heed your call to arms in this fight, and my only hope is that our collective voice is heard.
Thank you ---
JamesDBurrell2 Is that why it took you so long to start a new WWF game??
ginidietrich That and I was drowning in the tears of my own sobbing. It seems to have reached the point that beating you may be the pinnacle of my WWF career, not to be topped, and unlike Brett Farve, I may have to hang up my cleats thereafter as to retire on top.
JamesDBurrell2 Don't cry. I'll let you win this next game so you're confident again.
ginidietrich I won't stand for it. By coddling me, you're only setting me up for future failures. Tough love, Gini, tough love. I shall endure.
I am had goosebumps when I read this post, Gini. Thank you very much for sharing this with us. Although I know stalking is very much present in our society, hearing a story about it from people we know and look up to makes it more real somehow.
KimDavies Thanks for the nice comment, Kim. It's really scary and I hope we can do everything possible to affect change.
This post hits very close to home for me for two reasons. First, I was stalked several years ago. Second, Jodi Sanderholm lived in a city not far from mine, so I was one of the journalists who helped report on her vicious murder. Jodi's killer had stalked other women before. Some didn't take it seriously. Others were told by police that nothing could be done until they were physically harmed. Jodi's story is such a tragedy.
As a survivor of stalking myself, it's hard to describe the level of fear and anguish that goes with this crime. This stalker had staked out my home, wandered around my workplace, followed me to lunch with friends and even showed up at my church. For months, security guards at work walked me to and from my car. That was more than the police could do, even though I filed a report every time he called or showed up. The laws must change. Gini, thank you for sharing your story and for sharing Jodi's. Jodi had a very bright future, but it was stolen from her. Let's all band together to make the world a safer place by changing these laws.
kamkansas Yes, Jodi's killer had stalked many other women. I am not even certain we ever knew exactly how many. That is what encouraged me to start the law change...her murder never should had happened! Had Jodi's Law been in effect in 2006 she would still be here. Her killer would have been arrested for stalking before that day in January.
kamkansas I love blogging for this very reason: I learned something new about you. Thank you for sharing both the story about having to cover this crisis, but also your own story.
Well I've rarely been so disgusted. Who are these people?? They can't be allowed to get away with crap like this. I applaud you for speaking out and bringing attention to this. We can't expect people to just take this and keep taking it until the worst happens. I'm glad they got your guy. Maybe if these nutcases start seeing real consequences much sooner into their "cycles" then we can make examples of these guys.
John Garrett Unfortunately I think people like this don't think about consequences. Certainly the man that stalked Jodi for 10 years and then killed her didn't think about the consequences. Sometimes even the death penalty isn't enough to make them stop.
Gini, you need to get a gun. Just sayin'Gonna try to get involved in this as much as possible. Off to do this homework!
Brankica I've actually thought about learning how to use a gun, getting a permit, and having one. But I'm not so sure I'd have the confidence to use it in a case like this. Instead, I have a dog, a security system, a husband with a bat, and I can break a nose!
Gini - I had to read the comments - this really happened. my God. I am sorry. I find it amazing you share as much as you do online given that experience - not a criticism, more like a thank you for not giving up on the rest of us.
jennwhinnem Thanks Jenn! It was a long time ago so it makes it easier to share the story. I still get that feeling of panic when I think about it. Hopefully we can help get the laws changed.
It goes without saying, but thank you for being brave enough to share your story, miss, and for your awesome support. You're one of the best - thank you.
DannyBrown Are you OK? You just said something nice to me. I don't know how to react.
I had no idea about this! and as I read it, I kept thinking you were telling the story to make a point, not that you were writing from first-person. I kept waiting....I just can't imagine how terrifying that was!
I was just in the car with my niece over the weekend who got a text from someone she didn't know. she kept responding to him, trying to figure out who it was and I told her to stop. then she asked him, "do you go to ____(her school)__?" I didn't want to be the freakazoid aunt, but I insisted she stop talking to him and explained that she was providing him leading information about herself!
She ended up remembering who he was. I should have known better, she's flaky just like her aunt. But the point is that yes - it is so much easier to stalk now than it was then given, the tools we now have. We just cannot be careful enough.
Lisa Gerber Oh Lisa, you are so right! My daughter has done the same, when she gets texts from people she can't place! I am a MAJOR FREAKAZOID...it makes her crazy. But she knows, I read texts, view text logs, have full acces w/password to her locked down facebook as well. It's too scary out there
sydcon_mktg Lisa Gerber I do the same w/my kids. This is serious stuff. Even my 17 yr old son - about to be 18 is required to keep his user and password info in the family profile log. We monitor texts and all social profiles.
I have an aunt who has dealt with stalking issues a few times throughout her life - back before there were any stalking laws. Thankfully she's always had the support of family including a twin brother who's in the police force who was able to help resolve her situations. There are so many who aren't so lucky.
Lisa Gerber It's like when we were in NYC and I got that text that said, "It's Scott from LA. I'm in Chicago." I have NO idea who it was and I didn't answer. Can you imagine if I hadn't thought about it and said, "Oh shoot. I'm in NYC."??
Gini, such a powerful story. I am sorry that you had to go through it, and it is truly admirable, that you are willing to share it publicly. I think sharing the stories is really an important step in raising awareness of the issue. Someone close to me was stalked, and while it never escalated to what you went through, if you go through it at any level, you quickly understand how much fear and uncertainty a stalker can bring to someone's life. I don't think a lot of people who haven't had a connection to stalking get it, so people like you who have the courage to share their stories are so important.
Thanks for sharing and for supporting such a great cause!
adamtoporek It's true that if you have a personal story to tell, it makes it more real. Anything to help raise awareness and change laws!
My God. I am so sorry.
geoffliving It was a long time ago, but thanks. Hopefully it helps raise awareness.
Oh my God Gini... I'm so sorry this happened to you. And thank you for having the courage to share your story with the rest of us. XOJA.
JonAston It's too bad because I would go in the unreported stats. I'm sure this happens more often than not. It's really scary.
ginidietrich JonAston an estimated 83% go unreported. I am not sure how the researchers came to 83%, but that is what they say...
This is kind of the opposite of a blog about nothing. I was stunned and a bit emotional when I read it. I have a friend whose daughter went through something similar during her college days and, as you know, I have two teenage daughters who both live very free and independent lives. I love that about them and instill that in them, but also try to balance that with information and stories such as yours to keep them grounded and aware.
Thank you for sharing your story and providing suggestions on how we can help.
KevinVandever As long as you keep talking to them about how to protect themselves, you're far ahead of any stalker. I like the comparison to the movie "Taken." Except you're better looking than Liam Neeson.
This is a terrifying story, and I got the chills from reading the reactions from the police -- are you kidding me? Is this what protecting our citizens looks like? Crazy. I'm sure I'll keep thinking of this whenever the debate over allowing kids on Facebook continues -- just imagine what information could get out if young kids start sharing unknowingly. *shudder*
Jodi's Voice is a needed organization, clearly. I'm going to do the best I can to support it.
annedreshfield Thank you for your support!
annedreshfield It's sad and true. I cried in the police station more than once. And you're right - technology is making us more vulnerable. It's definitely something we need to consider.
ginidietrich i applaud you and the others below for sharing your stories! I am going to share them with my soon to be 13 yr old daughter. She has a friend who has a youtube channel & is constantly making videos in her bedroom and give out too much information. She has made videos with other kids in them too (my daughter has been threatened & warned that I will check daily to make sure she is never in one!). Kids always think this wont happen! Shoot, I am sure many adults think it won't happen. But it does.
I told my daughter it could be a neighbor or someone you know, you can't be too careful. I also told her that the first thing you hear on the news when someone has been caught is "oh they were such a nice person, had no idea they were a sicko!"
Thanks to dannybrown for helping bring attention to this!
sydcon_mktg If you want me to talk to her, let me know. Maybe hearing it from me would help.
sydcon_mktg ginidietrich dannybrown She should speak to my daughter. She learned it all first hand when Jodi was killed.
AngelaDaffron ginidietrich Thanks ladies, I may take you up on that offer one day!
Wow, that's terrifying. What a horrible experience to live through. I hope people support Danny's 12for12K efforts and donate to this important organization. Thanks for helping to spread the word, and for sharing your story. I'm sure it wasn't easy.
Nikki Little It was a long time ago so it makes it easier. But it's not something I talk about so a lot of my close friends have emailed or called today to say WTF? :)
Gini, I'm so sorry that this happened to you - I had no idea. :(
dannyiny Thanks, Danny. It was a long time ago so even the emotional scars are gone.
Gini, I am so sorry to have heard about your experience but am very glad that you blogged about it. A friend of mine went through something similar in college. We talked to the police about it and they said the same thing to her.
One of the cops told her that if I wasn't her boyfriend she might consider making me one so that I would be around more frequently. It wasn't very helpful.
Even though my daughter is quite young I have wondered and worried about this. It is really important to keep talking about.
TheJackB Jack it is amazing how insensitive even some police officers can be regarding stalking! I actually had one tell me that it "was hot" that my stalker was a girl. I was furious! In what sick world is anything about that "hot!?!?"
AngelaDaffron It is crazy. I remember speaking with campus police about it too. One of them suggested that I grab a few friends and have a conversation with the guy about why he would be better served to spend his time elsewhere.
Actually that was what I wanted to do, but I was shocked when a cop made the suggestion. Looking back I am not so surprised but...
TheJackB I have heard multiple stories of that being the solution in the eyes of responding law enforcement. Their hands are tied and they get frustrated too, but it is still no excuse. Officers told me to make sure I emptied my gun before calling them. I relocated to another state before it got to that point. Kind of strange though to have an police officer make that statement.
AngelaDaffron One of the reasons that I was told to bring friends was to make sure that everyone saw that I was forced to defend myself. It is frustrating because it is a sort of silly game that we sometimes have to play.
AngelaDaffron TheJackB O.M.G.
TheJackB Very silly!
Gini, wow, I'm literally blown away but what happened to you. Thanks for finding a way to turn it into a positive to help others. What you and Danny are doing here is pretty amazing.
Marcus
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