Guest

Twitter Brand Pages are Pointless

By: Guest | December 13, 2011 | 
202

Today’s guest post is written by Brian Meeks.

Twitter introduces brand pages.

Some people say it will be a game changer. Those people are idiots. It won’t be a game changer, because NOBODY uses Twitter for tweeting…or at least they shouldn’t be.

So now I am filled with my trademarked “Howler Monkey Angst.”

It isn’t that they are making an effort to improve the Twitter site for its users that pisses me off; it’s that there are ANY users.

As I type this rant, I’m well aware of the unreasonableness of my dismay. Twitter provides a service I love. I would describe myself as a power Twitter user and have developed a lot of great friendships, but it has been almost two years since I’ve used Twitter for tweeting (giggles a little, knowing that the masses still wouldn’t understand what the hell I’m talking about…silly luddites…I digress).

I have three monitors, one of which is covered wall-to-wall with TweetDeck.

TweetDeck has six columns, with my main stream, mentions, my favorite list, direct messages, a search column (currently on #Buckeyes), and favorites. So why I am so upset that Twitter wants to get people to use their product?

It is because people who use Twitter for tweeting are making themselves partially unavailable.

Let me explain.

A tweet scrolls across my “All Friends Column:”

“My lap is full of napping cat. I’m hungry, but if I disturb Mr. Fluffy Pants, he won’t forget the transgression.”

I am powerless against only two things…tweets with bacon in them and kitty cuteness. Naturally, I’d want to replay with something along the lines of…

Order pizza for delivery, explain your dire situation, and have them bring it to your chair. #catnapfever

But then I look at the bottom of their tweet and my enthusiasm for replying plummets. I see the date, time, and then “via Web,” which is code for, “The bleeding idiot is STILL using Twitter on a browser, probably the horrific IE 9, and will be oblivious to your reply. Don’t even bother. They obviously have no self-respect, probably have criminal records, and think the “Oxford comma” is a pretentious bit of punctuation. In short, they are heathens. I blame their parents.”

So I move on.

Twitter is fantastic, but if one uses Twitter for tweeting, they are unable to watch more than one column at a time. Unless, of course, they are clicking back and forth on the tabs repeatedly, they won’t be able to carry on a conversation and catch the links to articles listing Top 10 Reasons Why Cheese Should Have its Own Food Pyramid. In short, they are missing out on half the Twitter fun and giving people the impression they don’t want to chat.

There are only three reasons to ever open a browser and use Twitter:

  1. You are on some strange computer in a library, computer cafe, or at your friends house (The one who mocks your use of social media and prefers to do things “outdoors” with people).
  2. You are popping in to see what changes they’ve made and you have no intent of staying more than 37 seconds.
  3. You’ve recently suffered a massive head wound and don’t know any better.

I’m not a religious person, but I believe Leviticus 5:9 says, “Thou shalt not use Twitter to tweet, lest they spend all of eternity in hell, listening to Justin Bieber tracks, with a gaggle of pre-teen girls.” I think it comes right after the passage about, “Thou shall pick one avatar and stick to it, or your followers won’t know who you are and will think you’ve died in a horrible llama herding accident.”

My point is this, if you are reading this post, you are likely serious about social media. If you want to be taken seriously, start using serious tools, such as TweetDeck or Hootsuite. Seriously!

(Next time on “Howler Monkey Rant”…Why everyone should have three monitors.)

P.S. If you have a client who wants a Twitter brand page, then by all means, make one. Tell them it is essential, and charge them double. I’ll even visit it and give it a T+ or whatever it will be. Just don’t announce the stupid thing using your browser!

Brian Meeks has delusions of novelist, which he feeds by authoring Henry Wood Detective Agency. (Available on his blahg). When the economy went south, he turned to social media and does this to feed and clothe himself.  In his free time, he does… well… social media… and publishes the Extremely Average. He can be reached on Twitter or by carrier pigeon at the house with the big tree out front.\

  • I prefer the web-version of twitter, with HootSuite it feels like information overload.

    • ExtremelyAvg

      @DustBunnyMafia How many monitors do you have? That could be the problem.

      • I have 2 monitors; which is all they will give me at work 😛

        • ExtremelyAvg

          @DustBunnyMafia Hmmm…well, then I think you should find a 3 monitor company, who appreciates the value of constant twitter monitoring. Or maybe, just stick with what you like best. I’m really not a zealot (okay, yes I am)

  • GarratyGroup

    Couldn’t have said it better myself, Brian. I’ve never understood why Twitter doesn’t force everyone into using Tweetdeck now, especially since Tweetdeck is now essentially an “in house” brand for them. It even has a web app for those who are just obsessed from tweeting from a browser!

  • I am so with you on this one. I’m tired of people calling it a game changer, or a shot fired at Google + and Facebook. It’s mostly meaningless!

  • I’m learning Twitter – anyone have a good resource to help me get my head around the meaning of Brian’s phrase: “almost two years since I’ve used Twitter for tweeting” ? I know there are Twitter for Dummies resources everywhere – but has someone come across a primer of using Twitter the way Brian describes? Compelling post, thank you, Brian.

    • ExtremelyAvg

      @iBusinessBrain hehe, that was why I giggled, it is such a silly phrase and to a neophyte completely illogical.

      Twitter is available on http://www.twitter.com, where one is able to sign-up and then begin unleashing their snark on the world (140 characters at a time). Power users, people who keep an eye on their stream all day and use it to promote their wares (aka Henry Wood Detective Agency, available on Kindle, Nook and in Print), will use a tool like Tweetdeck or Hootsuite to do their tweeting. It allows for watching multiple streams of tweets at once. This isn’t as hard as it sounds, especially if one is just beginning.

      When one gets thousands of followers and is engaging with a lot of people, these tools make it much easier. If you are just starting out, getting an understanding of something like Tweetdeck will help you, as you grow in the world that is Twitterville.

  • PattiRoseKnight

    If I have TweetDeck EVERYONE should have it! I thought I was the last one!

    • @PattiRoseKnight i HATE Tweetdeck. There. I said it. Then again, i LIKE @ginidietrich , so clearly I have no taste.

  • Danielle at Atomicdust

    I’ve got to disagree a little. (And this coming from someone who has been a loyal Hootsuite user for 2+ years and, like you said, only logs in to Twitter.com to see what kind of changes they’ve made.)

    While I think less people are logging in to Twitter.com, I don’t think that reason is because of management tools like Tweetdeck and Hootsuite. I think the main reason people don’t use Twitter.com is because they are using mobile apps – something you fail to mention at all. In fact, when you said it wasn’t worth responding to someone who posted ‘from the web’, I thought you were going to say it was worthless because who knows the next time they will log on! I want an instant reply, not something that comes tomorrow morning when they kick on their AOL again…..

    I love Hootsuite. But if I was a ‘normal’ person who didn’t work in social media, I wouldn’t be using it. I wouldn’t need to manage multiple accounts or track keywords or spy on- er, follow- particular users’ streams. You said it yourself – we are power users. Normal people still use Twitter.com (but like I said, more likely mobile apps) and normal people are still worthy consumers and worthy connections.

    – Danielle @ Atomicdust

    • ExtremelyAvg

      @Danielle at Atomicdust Excellent rebuttal. I have never tweeted much from my phone. In fact, I hate phones. I usually leave it off. I do tweet from my ipad, when I’m away from the desktop, but again, I use Tweetdeck for that as well.

    • @Danielle at Atomicdust

      I think that is Twitter’s intent; to help what you call the ‘normal user’ not the power user. It’s clear that people are still on Twitter but not really ‘using’ it. Part of these updates and probably what we will see from them over the next several months is efforts to increase the usability and intuitiveness of the site. I just hope they dont forget about us power users in the process.

    • ginidietrich

      @Danielle at Atomicdust What is Atomic Dust and why have you never commented here before?!? I’m going to go stalk you right now.

      • Danielle at Atomicdust

        @ginidietrich Ha, I’ve been a reader for a while, but I guess this is my first comment! I guess I was just moved by the post….

        Agree that Twitter.com is sort of in its dark ages…. for us ‘power users’ and early adopters. Anyone seen stats on what % of total (active!) users use the site? And what % use mobile apps? That would be interesting.

        (And Atomicdust is a branding and design agency based in St. Louis, Mo. We work mostly with b2b clients in conservative industries. My role is social media marketing, content startegy, SEO and paid seach campaigns.)

        • ginidietrich

          @Danielle at Atomicdust I totally stalked you yesterday! My in-laws are in St. Louis so I know exactly where your office is!

    • RababKhan

      Oh! I have to go find some normal people to follow.

  • “But then I look at the bottom of their tweet and my enthusiasm for replying plummets. I see the date, time, and then “via Web,” which is code for, “The bleeding idiot is STILL using Twitter on a browser, probably the horrific IE 9, and will be oblivious to your reply. Don’t even bother. They obviously have no self-respect, probably have criminal records, and think the “Oxford comma” is a pretentious bit of punctuation. In short, they are heathens. I blame their parents.””

    Oh. My. That’s EXACTLY (similar to) what goes through my mind when I see “via Web.” I’m always tempted to make reference or copy/paste their tweet into my response to make sure they know or remember what I’m replying to from last evening, which is inexplicably the only time they could find to tweet at me.

    I admit to sometimes spending an inordinate amount of time on Twitter proper devising a snarkier, sweeter, or more businesslike bio depending on my mood. And–these days–trying to figure out how to upgrade. Anyone?

    • ExtremelyAvg

      @ShakirahDawud I always tend to lean to snarkier, when it comes to the bio, but that is just me.

  • ginidietrich

    When I was prepping this for publishing this morning, I laughed out loud at your need to respond about the kitty love. So. Freaking. Funny. I always make fun of my friend martinwaxman because he still uses the website for Twitter. I’m not sure how he does it, as I would get too frustrated, but it works for him.

    I can’t wait for the blog post on why to use three monitors!

    • ExtremelyAvg

      @ginidietrichmartinwaxman Hmmm…maybe I should start working on it in earnest.

      • @ExtremelyAvg@ginidietrichmartinwaxman I, of course was thinking of martinwaxman too!! It’s very quaint.

        and yes!! a blog post on three monitors!!

      • ginidietrich

        @ExtremelyAvg (I also have three monitors)

        • @ginidietrich@ExtremelyAvg Three monitors? I just got a headache THINKING about that.

        • @NancyD68@ginidietrich@ExtremelyAvg I worked much of Friday from the Seattle airport and I had two laptops, one iPad, and one iPhone going. I didn’t realize what a dork I looked like until I noticed the look from a passerby. I hung my head in shame.

        • ExtremelyAvg

          @Lisa Gerber@NancyD68@ginidietrich I would have tried to chat you up. 😉

        • @ExtremelyAvg@NancyD68@ginidietrich you just made me snort.

        • ExtremelyAvg

          @Lisa Gerber@NancyD68@ginidietrich I consider that a win. 🙂

        • martinwaxman

          @ExtremelyAvg@Lisa Gerber@NancyD68@ginidietrich I’m jumping into this a bit late – I guess I’m slow to reply because I’m still on twitter.com… it is quaint and somewhat homey – maybe twitter is the cottage to my urban and busy hootsuite. Just one stream that flows by… Makes you want to take out a fishing rod. I really enjoyed your post by the way and agree that we need a more sophisticated way to manage twitter – which is one of my favorite platforms. And, speaking as a person who only works on two screens – and sometimes one – I like visiting the cottage in the wilderness and watching the natural twitter unfold :).

    • @ginidietrichmartinwaxman I’ve actually written a 3 monitor post. I’ll send it your way and you may decide if it is “Spin Sucks” worthy.

  • Exchanged some heated tweets Sunday and yesterday after I discovered the latest ‘update’ to Tweetdeck took away all the things i loved and you highlight here. It’s now blue, not yellow, so I have to assume that ths is the ‘Twitter version’. The columns are fat so you can only see 3 at a time. The staus bar across the top is gonzo and now comes in a pop-up form that freezes the columns while you construct your tweet. Auto link shorteners – gone. Ability to right-click to spell-check and paste text – gone. Hit the ‘enter’ key to send your tweet – gone.

    Some were speculating that this was a move to push people back to using twitter.com to tweet. I would hate to not be on Twitter, but it’s becoming next to impossible to participate the way I want. Started writing a rant post of my own on Sunday night but I love the takeaway here. And you have all been warned – do NOT upgrade/update your Tweetdeck!!!

    • ExtremelyAvg

      @C_Pappas Thanks for the warning. I will avoid updating. If I’m forced to do so, I’ll just go over to Hootsuite. (Are you listening Twitter?) Why did they buy Tweetdeck if they didn’t want people to use it? I’m feeling angsty.

      • @ExtremelyAvg

        You should have seen my screaming at the thing Sunday night. My dad was like ‘what? what can I do??!?” LOL! Someone was nice enough to send me the code for the old version and I am going to try and replace the new one when I get home tonight.

        • @C_Pappas@ExtremelyAvg I switched from Tweetdeck to Hootsuite a few months ago and I have to admit I like it better.

        • @Brankica@C_Pappas@ExtremelyAvg I switched to hootsuite several months ago too and like it better!

    • BarbYouchah

      @C_Pappas I have the Tweetdeck Chrome app on my work laptop and it’s now acting all “Twitter in Tweetdeck” but the downloaded version on my personal one is still the same old awesome Tweetdeck. I can’t say enough how much I dislike Twitter in Twitter…

  • I have to agree with you, Brian. Not only do I use Twitter management clients but I also have to deal with FB and Google+ page. Who can keep up with all that 🙂 And considering that I love that little bit of personal communication on Twitter that is left, I don’t plan to trade for a Twitter page. I don’t think it is a game changer either. If they invented them 2 years ago meybe it would have been then, but not now.

  • I am too ADD for TweetDeck. It gives me a headache. I look for my @ mentions on regular Twitter or reply with my phone. I mostly tweet from my phone these days. That makes me cool right? Right?

    • ExtremelyAvg

      @NancyD68 You definitely ARE cool! I say on a scale of 1 to 37, you are a full on 37.

      • ginidietrich

        @ExtremelyAvg@NancyD68 No way! DISAGREE! You cannot be cool and use Twitter.com. NO WAY!

        • @ginidietrich@ExtremelyAvg Listen you. I WILL send you bacon if you keep it up, and not that weird vegetarian kind you like either. Brat.

        • ginidietrich

          @NancyD68 LOSER!!

        • @ginidietrich You love me. Go ahead admit it. You will feel better if you do.

        • Ike

          @ginidietrich@ExtremelyAvg@NancyD68 I am way cooler than you, and I use Twitter.com.

          So there.

        • ginidietrich

          @Ike Of course you are. That’s why there is a Lego made in your likeness.

  • terence.stephens

    just ceased all use of the Twitter website…. was about 50-50 before.

    • ExtremelyAvg

      @terence.stephens Good for you. You must have had wonderful parents.

  • ExtremelyAvg

    @bdorman264 Thanks for the RT of my extremely average post. 🙂

  • ginidietrich

    @bdorman264 You’re extremely average!

    • bdorman264

      @ginidietrich Tell me about it. As soon as Brian @ExtremelyAvg tires of it, it’s all mine. I hope he hasn’t copyrighted it…..

      • ExtremelyAvg

        @bdorman264 I love my brand. 🙂

        • bdorman264

          @ExtremelyAvg I’m lurking; I want it…

      • ginidietrich

        @bdorman264 Do you have @invisibleblogger?

        • bdorman264

          @ginidietrich @invisibleblogger Nope, I didn’t need any baggage when Brian cut his loose.

  • ExtremelyAvg

    @lacouvee Thanks so much for sharing my rant on Spin Sucks, with your followers. 🙂

    • lacouvee

      @extremelyavg you are most welcome!

  • ExtremelyAvg

    @cappypopp Thanks so much for the RT of my little rant at Spin Sucks.

  • I was one of ‘them’ for awhile until I saw the light. I was doing so much stuff the hard way when I started it’s a wonder I survived.

    I do use Hootsuite, but I am really not a good twitterer; I toil in the comments of blogs and might tweet a post or two, but about the only time I come to the surface on twitter is when someone mentions me. I might look at a stream once or twice a day, but I know most of the stuff is just streaming on past me.

    Ahhhh, it’s working for me so I’m not complaining. If someone needs me they know where to find me and I’m not running for office so I really don’t have much too tweet worthy to say anyway.

    Thanks for sharing and it was an extremely un-average post indeed.

    • ExtremelyAvg

      @bdorman264 I think it would be easier for you, if you had more monitors. How many monitors do you have? (research for my 3 monitor piece)

      • @ExtremelyAvg@bdorman264 How? How does one look at three monitors and not go totally blind or insane?

        • @NancyD68@bdorman264 It is like driving. One just scans from side to side and makes note of anything which needs attention.

          With Twitter, the column I follow most closely is the @mentions column. It doesn’t move with the speed of an angry Honey Badger, so I can quickly see if there is something new. The other columns are the same, as they are really just subsets of all the Tweets. The main column is zooms past and I miss most of it, but that is okay, because the really important people (You, Ken, Gini, and Bill are all on one of my lists, which is a separate column too.) That is the monitor on the left. The other two are for work. The one on the right, is what I’m using to respond to this comment, the one in the middle I’m using to write today’s chapter of Henry Wood.

          I really need to get to work on that 3 monitor blog post…obviously.

      • @ExtremelyAvg I’m working off of my laptop but I’m guessing I could still get other monitors to ‘compliment’ it.

  • You are right, Twitter.com isn’t for people that are serious about Twitter. But Coca-Cola isn’t on Twitter just for people that are serious about Twitter either. That is why brand pages do matter, to Twitter and to brands, even though you and I may never care about them personally.

    Twitter’s change is driven by the 90-9-1 model, Twitter is trying to make the leap from serving the creators and editors to also serving the audience, the 90%. For Twitter, the important change is serving consumers. This is why I think the Discover tab and the integration of media are really the most important changes. These are the things that allow people to spend TIME on Twitter.com, which will feed their advertising model and grow their audience.

    You and me? We become some of the evangelists that get more people to join. We are no longer part of the audience that directly drives their business.

    • I only wish Twitter put half as much thought and concern into updating tools for power users as well. Tweetdeck could certainly use a fair amount of innovation. Lose the power base and the 90% won’t follow. @Wittlake

  • NZJulie

    I disagree: different strokes for different folks. I was an early adopter of Twitter and had my Tweetdeck and Seesmic desktop set up with with lovely pragmatic lists. Now I only use Twitter via Chrome on my desktop (not IE9), while beside me lies my tablet and smartphone loaded with Echofon, which I use to monitor twitter and follow conversations. The reason I became disillusioned with my desktop twitter apps was because when I went to download a newer version I lost all my lists (all that time and effort!). When I asked the helpdesk/support if I could import my lists they said no, that I’d have to manually reconstruct them (this was admittedly ages ago and they may have sorted it since then), and who’s got time for that?!. So I no longer have things set up prettily and monitor my tweetstream as a whole, via mobile devices, an yet I often reply and post interesting links via Twitter for web (as I prefer using my old fashioned roomy keyboard to do this). I catch all replies with the beeps via my mobile devices. Disagree that I am making myself unavailable. What works for you may not work for others.

  • My cat prefers to tweet from Twitter. Do you recommend I demote her below the dog, who I believe has no preference?

    • @Steve Birkett Cats are a special case, as they are far to aloof to respond in a timely fashion. They are also frequently napping, so the level of expectation is well below that of their lesser humanoid helpers. Even if you could tell your cat which one to use, you would likely only receive a look of disdain, followed closely by a look of pity.

    • MyCaricature

      @Steve Birkett My cat kenotweets replies from whatever device he can get his hands on without being spotted.

      • KenoTweets

        @MyCaricature@Steve Birkett

      • KenoTweets

        @MyCaricature@Steve Birkett Talking about me?

  • RababKhan

    I used to tell myself that I must not judge people for their choices, but secretly…well, that’s another story. Every time I see someone using Twitter.com, I know they won’t reply. I’ve asked a few if they ever look at their mentions and most said no. So there you have it.

    About brand pages, I’ve been trying to understand what the big deal is about them since they were announced. Seems there isn’t much of a big deal after all.

  • CarriBugbee

    @JustInTheSouth @ginidietrich That’s kinda what I was thinking but I’ve been too busy bitching about crappy UX of #newnewTwitter to complain

  • LauLau81

    I agree with some of your points here but thanks for letting us know about this…

  • I feel that one needs to put in a lot of time and efforts to make any meaningful relationships in Twitter. I would rather invest that time in my blog. Not sure about the brand pages – will check how it works…

  • BAHAHAHA I absolutely love your rant and I’m now inspired to really go spruce up my Hootsuite a bit 😉

  • rachaelseda

    @ExtremelyAvg @KevinFawley HAHAHA enjoy it?! I love it. Absolutely hilarious and just what I needed to wake me up this morning!

  • This reminds me of a post @geoffliving wrote the other day. He pretty much argues the opposite – that marketers should use native formats as opposed to third party applications. Here’s the post: http://geofflivingston.com/2011/12/06/why-marketers-should-use-native-interfaces/

    • @Adam_Green@geoffliving It was a good article and though I disagree, it doesn’t mean he isn’t right. I’m a bit of a loon.

  • LOVE this! Brian, you are such a wise one…and your comedic chops aren’t too bad either.

  • KamaTimbrell

    Anyone who writes “and think the ‘Oxford comma’ is a pretentious bit of punctuation. In short, they are heathens,” must be right.

  • Ike

    Brian, I love you.

    But on this one, you’re full of crap.

    I use tools for Twitter for business purposes, but when I am on a PC I use the web client.

    It’s an intentional choice of mine, because I want to stay in touch with what the average person sees when they use the service. The average person just starting out does not know to load up on apps and interfaces, nor *should* they.

    YOU have a defined purpose with multiple columns and dedicated searches. Bully for you. But that gives you no right to bully others into thinking your workflow fits their needs.

    • KamaTimbrell

      I think it would be interesting to see what percentage of Twitter users use Twitter and what percentage use the dashboard. My gut says that newbies use Twitter.com, and then as they get more accustomed, follow more people, build lists, etc., and seek a better solution. @Ike

  • I only use Twitter.com under duress, like when Tweetdeck gets glitchy on me and won’t let me post a tweet (which happens more often than I care to admit these days…grrr.) Fun post. Enjoyed.

  • Unfortunately you missed this one big. Twitter isn’t just for tech savvy people anymore, and I think that they are headed in the right direction to get more everyday people using it. I have Tweetdeck as well, but why would I EVER refuse to reply to someone that is using the web. As a matter of fact, I have conversations weekly with regular web users….

    This reminds me of an article I wrote a couple of years ago “You’re Doing It Wrong”…. the point was, don’t let anyone tell you that you are doing anything social media wrong. If it works for me, who the eff is anyone else to tell me different! Just my 2 cents….

  • forfeng

    From a tech standpoint I somewhat agree but many of our techie customer bases are not power twitter users so are still using web based twitter. As well, If you look at it from the perspective of a potential customer/client/guest clicking through to twitter.com from a link or icon on your webpage the one shot branding potential is there for branded pages even if the click through person isn’t going to follow you or even use twitter themselves at all.

  • ginidietrich

    @ikepigott LOL

  • Ike

    Upon further review, allow me to clarify:

    This is exactly the sort of elitist snobbery that indicates just how far out of touch the self-anointed Communications Gurus have become.

    If my words piss you off, then so be it. You need someone to shake you by the shoulders and bring you back to reality.

    I challenge you Gurus to start a fresh account, just to see how Twitter has improved the experience.

    There. Now I feel as though I have made my point more succinctly.

    • @Ike So you think I’m a guru? Sweet!

    • @Ike My new Twitter address… @HenryWDetective Come on over.

    • ginidietrich

      @Ike Now, now Ike. Let’s play nice. This is a satire. It’s tongue-in-cheek. You know Brian’s work well enough to know that’s what he’s doing. I think it’s commendable that you want to use the tools as the “average” person uses them. But this audience is made up of PR and marketing professionals…and those people should be using both the web (to experience as newbies experience it) and a platform to manage multiple accounts and searches and Twitter chats and all that fun stuff.

      Now, I don’t know who you’re calling a self-appointed communication guru, but there aren’t any in this community, as far as I know.

      • @ginidietrich@Ike I don’t think the real issue is about being a guru or not, I think the main point of this blog post, and one that seems to have been overlooked in the discussion, is that I got more comments than Danny Brown’s last post. Current score, not that it’s a competition, but I’m winning… 116-54.

        • ginidietrich

          @ExtremelyAvg@Ike That, literally, made me laugh out loud. In a hotel room. By myself.

        • @ExtremelyAvg@ginidietrich@Ike And made me laugh out loud in my office with the window wide open. Lord knows what the neighbors think! Ha!

      • @ginidietrich@Ike Believe it or not, I am with Ike on this. I met with Twitter on these pages a while back and they are making an effort to make their site a destination site with a better experience for the general user. I am sorry but 99% of the folks that read Spin Sucks are not the audience for the upgrade. We are a niche group of super users. For Twitter to get out of Fanboyville it needs changes like this.

        • ginidietrich

          @jeffespo@Ike And that was my point. The audience here can appreciate the satire and tongue-in-cheek nature of the guest post. I can’t speak for Brian, but even though I think it’s hilarious that he wrote that he wasn’t going to tweet someone because he can see them updating from the web, I doubt it’s true. It’s just a funny piece on something people take way too seriously. It’s just Twitter. Fun old Twitter.

        • @ginidietrich@jeffespo@Ike I have been playing with the upgrade. It is better than the old version. Still, I don’t think…”I used new Twitter, it was marginally better, I’m off to take a nap.” is very funny or much of a blog post…certainly not one that can beat Danny.

          On a serious note. I still think that Twitter is very much a “Foreign” concept to the vast majority of the public. It would be interesting to ask 10 people, at random, on the street, “Do you use Twitter?” I’m guessing 9 – 9.3 of the 10 would say no. (the .3 was a yappy dog who chimed in.)

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  • ExtremelyAvg

    @inthekisser Thanks for RTing my little rant over on Spin Sucks.

    • inthekisser

      @extremelyavg of course! I’m torn on the issue–aesthetically cool but technically useless? Wondering how many “normal” people use twitter

      • MyCaricature

        @inthekisser Define “normal”!

        • inthekisser

          @mycaricature well..not me 🙂 I meant your average user. not sure me and my circles represent the majority–perhaps, I just don’t know

      • ExtremelyAvg

        @inthekisser I’ve done as the latest commenter suggested and created a new twitter account (@HenryWDetective) just to check it out.

      • ExtremelyAvg

        @inthekisser It is better, but I’m not convinced I want to give up multiple columns

      • ExtremelyAvg

        @inthekisser As for the “Normal” people using Twitter, I imagine that the vast majority of people don’t use Twitter, at all.

  • ExtremelyAvg

    @tim_baran Tim, thanks so much for the RT of my Spin Sucks rant.

  • ExtremelyAvg

    @jenniferwindrum Thanks for the kind words. I’m pleased to be your “new hero”…now about that cat stuck in the tree…have any cat treats?

    • jenniferwindrum

      @ExtremelyAvg No cat treats, bu I’m guessing that Iowa resourcefulness will kick in for ya.

      • ExtremelyAvg

        @jenniferwindrum Now, when you say I’m your new “hero”…is that just a normal hero, or a super hero?

        • jenniferwindrum

          @ExtremelyAvg Oh, super hero….but human super hero. Wait, is there such a thing?

        • ExtremelyAvg

          @jenniferwindrum Is my super power…snark…because I’d really like to have that as my power.

        • jenniferwindrum

          @ExtremelyAvg Oh yeah…..you got that. No doubt. And, ps….my cat is sleeping comfortably on the couch.

        • ExtremelyAvg

          @jenniferwindrum Oh thank goodness. I do love a napping cat. I’m glad she is out of the tree. I’m not sure my super power would have helped

        • jenniferwindrum

          @ExtremelyAvg Are you talking a Christmas tree…..or a big tree outside here???

        • ExtremelyAvg

          @jenniferwindrum I was just referencing my original tweet to you. “Cat in a tree”/hero/rescue thing I started.

        • ExtremelyAvg

          @jenniferwindrum Though, I would imagine your cat may enjoy playing with the Christmas tree.

        • Jenna_Sangria

          @ExtremelyAvg @jenniferwindrum Are you stealing my twitter bf? I think so. Back off sista lol you’re married! HAHAHA

        • jenniferwindrum

          @ExtremelyAvg Ok, think all the sugar I have just consumed is messing with my head. GAWD. My cat is 17…so she under it. Smart girl.

        • jenniferwindrum

          @Jenna_Sangria @ExtremelyAvg Oh, but how fun…..a Jen sandwich.

  • ExtremelyAvg

    @ikepigott LOL…well played…well played, indeed. Thanks for the RT.

  • ExtremelyAvg

    @Mikinzie When I read your bio…I thought of this… http://t.co/LqOYUsPO <Thanks for the RT of my Spin Sucks rant.

    • Mikinzie

      @ExtremelyAvg LMFAO love it! Thanks for sharing. And my little @LucysMittens does have thumbs! http://t.co/JBFBEE35

      • ExtremelyAvg

        @Mikinzie She is so cute. Of course, when she realizes that she can lead the Great Cat Rebellion, she may be less so.

        • Mikinzie

          @ExtremelyAvg I think she’s starting to figure that out, actually.. she’s completely dominated @PRCog & I’s apartment, incl the bed. 😛

  • Ray_anne

    @ExtremelyAvg Busy guy… enjoy! I will check it out,…

  • SPCwrite

    @ExtremelyAvg haha interestinglog then I won’t tell u I use web version of Twitter with firefox browser and a 5 yr old laptop lol.

    • ExtremelyAvg

      @SPCwrite hehe, I know you use the web, but despite this, you seem to do a great job of staying with conversations. 🙂

      • SPCwrite

        @ExtremelyAvg thats because I have no life lmao. haha.

    • ExtremelyAvg

      @SPCwrite I don’t really care that much, but ambivalence isn’t funny.

      • SPCwrite

        @ExtremelyAvg I tried tweetdeck long ago, it just wasn’t appealing to me.

  • LisaMarieMary

    @ExtremelyAvg Off to check it out – a good COL sounds like fun! ;-D

  • ExtremelyAvg

    @iarlabyrne Merci, pour le RT. 🙂

    • iarlabyrne

      @ExtremelyAvg my pleasure Brian, good article!

  • Reason number 4 to be on Twitter: You got a new computer, had to download the new Tweetdeck, and it won’t allow you to add any accounts. Seriously. I wish this were a joke.

    • @smccollo That is an acceptable addition to the list. I’m sorry you are having such problems. If it were me, I’d write a an angry post about Tweetdeck. But I’m likely much more jaded than you.

    • @smccollo I know, I hate the new Tweetdeck. Darn those sellouts for selling to Twitter.

  • Chortle out loud, I did, indeed. You totally had me cracking up! I do, however, have a confession….I like Twitter.com. *shrinks*

    *ducks*

    I also have hootsuite and do love it, too. Since I’ve been on this new macbook, though, whenever I try to scroll over to my fun columns, I accidentally pop up the damn Apple dock. And even prior to the MBP, I would go back and forth, really. I like using half Hoot/half Twitter. On the MBP, lately though, I’m more like 99% Twitter. Think I’ll d’load tweetdeck again and see if it’s any different.

    And dude – speaking of sins – oh. my. gawd. You linked to the bieb. *gah*

    • @LisaMarieMary I actually don’t do the links, that was an editorial decision by the fine folks of Spin Sucks. I’ve used my father’s MBP and found the same problems. I feel your pain.

      • @ExtremelyAvg Hrrrmmm….I’ve put the stinky dock off hiding and on the right side..this could maybe work. If only Twitter’s API would behave….

  • Hi Ike: This is a very funny post. Here are the 3 reasons you’ve missed the point about brand pages:

    1. I’m stuck at an airport because the airline has screwed up my connection and need to yell at someone asap. I Google “Delta Help Twitter” because I want to do it publicly and not screw up their Twitter handle. Boom: brand page. (ie the user is motivated to seek you out)

    2. The majority of brands who think they can sell stuff on Twitter will use brand pages to offer deals. I want a deal on a new laptop. Booyah: Best Buy Twitter page has a coupon and a daily special… (ie you have trained the user to find deals here)

    3. You’re a marketer with a crappy product, and you have a target to hit. Who are you going to try and sell to, the smart people on Tweetdeck, or the people who don’t know any better? Sha-bahm: Promoted tweets + go to our brand page and follow us to unlock the deal = met our monthly quota of leads!!

    P.S. Have you played with the Discover tab yet?

    • @tonia_ries I just tried the #Discover tab and was brought an order of Justin Bieber, which I immediately sent back to the kitchen with a tersely worded rebuke.

      I think you presented a compelling and serious case for the branded page. I hope there comes a day when I can have one for my blahg anthology, “Howler Monkey Angst: Guest Blogging for External Validation” Or “…HMA: Guest Blogging…Better Than Incontinence” <a bargain at $799.37 , but today for only $2.99…but wait…I’ll let it go for 99 cents. What say you?

  • Twitter is back in the big boys league with this large scale redesign and the new Twitter Brand Pages! But let’s not get side tracked here, there’s one main underlying reason for all these changes: the profit. With over 300 million tweets a day they were lacking a proper advertising system to cash in from all that.

    http://www.vectorash.ro/twitter-brand-pages-and-redesign/

  • Hilarious. I use Twitter for web for tweeting because I use multiple tabs on multiple browers on my laptop, which I’m forced to use as my main computer as I spend about 50% of the week sick in bed. That’s how I found your post by the way Brian.

    Really funny post though, sincerely. Which I will tweet. And then retweet. Using Twitter on the Web.

    • @Tinu I’m so sorry to hear that 50% of your week is spent sick in bed. The multiple tabs on multiple browsers is a good idea. I hope you feel better soon.

    • @Tinu Feel better, Tinu!

      • @ExtremelyAvg@tonia_ries Oh, I’ve had this condition for 17 years, please don’t feel bad for me, I’m used to it. A few years ago it was 90% from bed, before that I couldn’t work at all for several years. .I’m very lucky actually. .I was just sharing that, tongue in cheek, to say that some of us have good reasons for using the web version of Twitter – whether it’s that we’re stuck with surfing the web on a PC laptop, and don’t like any of the other web/desktop enabled clients, etc. We’re not all idiots.. In the new Twitter, I love that you can follow a conversation thread. I’m using bottlenoseapp now.. And I thought the article was very funny, sincerely I laughed out loud.

        • @Tinu@tonia_riesbottlenoseapp 17 years, wow. Well, I’m glad to hear that you’ve improved from 90% to 50%. You make a very good point, and truly, I’m not really that opposed to Twitter on a browser, but it isn’t funny if I’m ambivalent.

        • @ExtremelyAvg you’re funnier when you’re not being so nice – I’m sure people have told you that before. 🙂 @Tinu bottlenoseapp One thing this conversation made me think of: historically, Twitter’s been terrible for people who are sight-impaired and using readers of some kind. (There’s a company called Accessible Twitter that attempts to solve that.) I wonder if this new version is worse or better…

        • @tonia_ries@Tinubottlenoseapp Nice guys do tend to finish last, and thus far, I’m running “Out of the Money” in a three horse race.

  • wendywoowho

    @Sisarina “I blame their parents.” #dyinglaughing

  • ExtremelyAvg

    @rjfrasca Thanks for telling people about my rant on Spin Sucks. It is much appreciated.

    • rjfrasca

      @ExtremelyAvg I couldn’t agree more. I haven’t used Twitter.com for twitter since maybe 2008. You hit the nail right on the head there

      • ExtremelyAvg

        @rjfrasca The only time I use it is when I’m curious about their changes.

  • ExtremelyAvg

    @HurstAaron It was very nice of you to RT my guest blahg post on Spin Sucks. Thanks.

  • ExtremelyAvg

    @CollinKromke Thanks for the RT on my Spin Sucks rant, Collin.

  • bottlenoseapp

    @Tinu Thanks!

  • This was funny. @ExtremelyAvg did a great job. I, myself am moving from Tweetdeck to Hootesuite The new one sucks.

  • ExtremelyAvg

    @OchoTex That is all it was meant to be. Thanks for the RT. 🙂

    • OchoTex

      @extremelyavg That’s what everything should be for. Great post! Nice seaworthy avatar, BTW.

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  • daringantt

    @billvoth I just read this. Man, you technology types sure are bossy.

    • billvoth

      @daringantt ?

      • daringantt

        @billvoth That screed you posted earlier about tweeting on twitter.

        • billvoth

          @daringantt i’ll consider that your statement of gratitude for weening you off the old and making you somewhat advanced.

        • daringantt

          @billvoth Back in my old pre-tweetdeck days, I just kept two windows open. It really wasn’t that hard. Even if it was by candlelight.

        • AdamButlerTV

          @daringantt are you worried about the 5-pt hole you’ll have to dig out after this weekend?

        • clay_mitchell

          @daringantt at some point you’re going to have to go find a separate monitor to run on TweetDeck 24/7

        • daringantt

          @AdamButlerTV Not at all. I find it appropriate Rudy was busted by the SEC today. Undersized frauds are getting exposed left and right.

        • AdamButlerTV

          @daringantt I wouldn’t worry either. Brad Hoover once ran for 100 yards on a Monday night. A fan was also tackled on the field.

  • ExtremelyAvg

    @hackmanj Thanks for the RT about my Spin Sucks rant. 🙂

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  • ExtremelyAvg

    @ThePaulSutton Thanks for the RT about my little Twitter rant over at Spin Sucks.

    • ThePaulSutton

      @ExtremelyAvg you’re welcome. I completely agree with you!

  • ExtremelyAvg

    @Steveology Thanks for the RT of my little rant on Spin Sucks. It was very nice of you, Steve.

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  • ExtremelyAvg

    @meghancward Thanks for the RT Meghan and Merry Christmas.

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  • ExtremelyAvg

    @CatsPolitics hehe. I’m glad you liked it. Thanks for the RT.

    • CatsPolitics

      @ExtremelyAvg I see ppl still using web Twitter and I think “AMC Pacer driver”.

  • ginad129

    @ExtremelyAvg so, you’re assuming that I can’t see the little blue dot that pops up when I get a new @ mention? That doesn’t seem fair.

    • ExtremelyAvg

      @ginad129 Yes. I mentioned that one could click back and forth, but I don’t think most people do it frequently.

    • ExtremelyAvg

      @ginad129 You asked what annoys and that is a biggie for me.

      • ginad129

        @ExtremelyAvg fair enough. I shouldn’t balk at an honest response. 🙂

        • ExtremelyAvg

          @ginad129 You are a twitter veteran. Why do you still use Twitter for tweeting?

        • ginad129

          @ExtremelyAvg I use my iPad app, mostly. And when I’m at the computer, I’m doing other things & twitter isn’t a priority.

        • ginad129

          @ExtremelyAvg I’ve been meaning to get tweet deck up and running, but I just never get around to it.

        • ExtremelyAvg

          @ginad129 I wrote a follow up piece…mocking my love of three monitors. http://t.co/kNNTXnpZ

        • ExtremelyAvg

          @ginad129 I really do devote one monitor to Tweetdeck. With the current book I’m writing, I have one monitor for research and one for video

        • ExtremelyAvg

          @ginad129 I’m actually writing the book on my ipad, in front of the monitors.

        • ginad129

          @ExtremelyAvg I don’t have the space or the money for that kind of a set up! 😉

        • ExtremelyAvg

          @ginad129 It really does suck up a lot of money, I’ll grant you that.

    • ExtremelyAvg

      @ginad129 You don’t need to include it.

      • ginad129

        @ExtremelyAvg I think I will, as a “one avid tweeter said this, too, so keep it in mind” piece of advice.

        • ExtremelyAvg

          @ginad129 Of course, the main point of my article was to get people to chuckle. I’m really not that miliatant.

        • ginad129

          @ExtremelyAvg I know 🙂 and I see your point.

        • ginad129

          @ExtremelyAvg I think people would be like, “But I don’t know how to do anything else!” and blow it out of proportion

        • ExtremelyAvg

          @ginad129 You might be right. Of course, some might give it a try and find it was helpful.

        • ginad129

          @ExtremelyAvg this is true, and why I am willing to give the suggestion some space in the post: somebody might find it extremely useful

        • ExtremelyAvg

          @ginad129 I’m sure it will be a great post, regardless. You could add “Frequent Avatar Changes, too.” I get confused by that and think…

        • ExtremelyAvg

          @ginad129 …some people have stopped using twitter.

        • ginad129

          @ExtremelyAvg yes! This is definitely on the list.

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