There are so many things happening in the news this week, I don’t really know where to begin.
First, did you hear the Kardashian clan is going to co-host the fourth hour of The Today Show next week? I’m pretty sure that means the show has jumped the shark. As Mr. D would say…Kim is famous for a sex tape and a big butt. I guess they’re moving on up.
Secondly, I’m eagerly awaiting Amanda Knox’s appeal. I really don’t think she killed her roommate so I’m anxious to see if the wonky DNA is going to stand or if she’ll be freed and can come home.
Lastly (at least before the real topics of the day), the Bears play the Panthers this weekend and Cam Newton will be in Chicago. Because he’s on my top five list, does it count if I stalk him? Or does it have to be an “accidental” meeting?
And, with that, Gin and Topics…
5. Two-Faced Cat Breaks World Record. One would think this cat broke the world record for, I don’t know, having two faces. But it turns out it’s because he’s the oldest two-faced cat to live.
4. Woman Arrested for Public Intoxication. The weird part about this story is not that the woman drove a golf cart to CVS. Nor is it that she was going there to buy Halloween decorations for her grandkids. Nor is it that she was drunk. No, the weird part is she wasn’t administered a field sobriety test because the police thought she might hurt herself.
3. Get the Milk Or Get the Ax. This is funny because it’s true. How often do you go to get something in the work kitchen only to find it’s gone? As a business owner, I totally side with this guy. And it’s funny that he says, “I’m not joking. You will be fired for not replacing the milk, and have fun explaining that one to your next employer.” But what’s even more funny are the comment (“if it’s not in my job description, I don’t have to replace the milk”). Come on, people! It’s called respect.
2. For a Fun Time, Text This Number. Need to show off to your buddies next time you’re out, but you don’t have a hot girlfriend to call your own? Well, this NY-based number is to the rescue! Seriously, you add the number to your phone and name it whatever you’d like your fake girlfriend’s name to be and then text it next time you’re out. She’ll text you back and will even call, if you like.
1. Men Accused of Using Corpse’s ATM Card. Two men in Denver thought they’d reenact “Weekend at Bernie’s,” I guess. They drove around with their dead friend, buying liquor and withdrawing cash with the guy’s ATM card. Seriously. I can’t make this stuff up.
Have a great weekend!