Les McKeown is president and CEO of Predictable Success and occasional champion when playing Gini Dietrich in Words with Friends.

The Russian poet Alexander Herzen wrote that after a revolution we are left with “not an heir, but a pregnant widow…a long night of chaos” in which the old is gone but the new has not yet arrived.

Hello, I’m your client. Nice to meet you.

Um…thanks, that’s kind of you, but no, I don’t need another book, article, blog post, case study or tweet to help me understand that marketing, advertising, PR, and everything else associated with it has been revolutionized by social media in recent years. I get it. Despite the unflattering little stories I see you tell each other about us clients, I’m not a complete doofus.

What do I want?

I want whatever’s next, baby. You’re the one who’s flogging this ‘social media revolution’ stuff, so give it to me. And by the way, I don’t want any crud. I want the good stuff, the top shelf stuff, the really powerful stuff. I want stuff that is a better-faster-stronger version of the old stuff I had before you took it all away from me. Gimme.

You want me to do what now? Send lots of tiny little messages. I see. And I put what in them? Useful information. Got it. And be what? Engaging… OK. I can get somebody to do engaging. What else? Links? What sort of links? Oh, useful links. OK, I’ve got that. We’ll do the tiny messages with information and links. I’m on it.

Seems kinda lame though. C’mon, I need you to reach here – what else ya got? The what? The Face Book. And that does…? Oh, I see … longer messages. With pictures. And we can put links in there too? Awesome. What else? Be engaging. I’ll just tick that twice then, shall I? What else with The Face Book? Be authentic. OK. I didn’t know I wasn’t, but if you say so.

Hold on…just thinking here…be engaging and authentic on The Face Book about what, exactly? I see. Useful information. OK, got it. And the links too – I’m guessing – they should be engaging and authentic as well? And useful – dammit you got me – how’d I forget that one? Why don’t I just underline ‘engaging authentic useful’ and ‘links’ twice with this sharpie?

All right. I have the tiny little messages and The Face Book. I’m ready for the big one…

Why’re you hesitating? Don’t hold back on me now – there’s got to be more than this. Given all the stuff you’ve told me to stop doing, there better be more than this.

You want me to do what? Sorry, you’re speaking so low I couldn’t hear you. Inked in? Ink in what? You mean ink in with my sharpie? Oh…’Linked In’. I see. You mean that job search place that people keep sending me those annoying little invites to? I’m already on there, I think. Haven’t checked in there for oh…coupla years at least.

What do you want me to put on there? Useful infor…. Hold on, I think I see where this is going. I’ll just underline  ‘engaging authentic useful’ and ‘links’ with my sharpie one more time, shall I?

Gosh, is that the time? You know, I completely forgot – I have an urgent appointment with my dentist for root canal work. Can’t miss that, huh? Really gotta rush. This has been…great. No seriously. Really eye-opening.

You got anything else before I leave?

Les McKeown is president and CEO of Predictable Success, the leading advisor on accelerated business growth. He is the author of the Wall Street Journal and USA Today best-seller “Predictable Success: Getting Your Organization On the Growth Track – and Keeping It There.”